


My Best Friend, My Lover

by Insidemyangstymind, LokiLover84



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insidemyangstymind/pseuds/Insidemyangstymind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiLover84/pseuds/LokiLover84
Summary: Ravi took a chance and told Leo how he felt, and Leo had run away. Now they're crossing paths again- can they heal the past and move toward the future together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... I honestly have no idea how this happened. My fellow tumblr addict and k-pop idol obsessive friend and I took an idea I had for a one-shot, and it's now turned into a 30k+ word behemoth- and still growing! But, it's been a joy to write! For the newest updates, check out luvmesomekpopidols on tumblr. Updates will be sporadic, and we accept full responsibility for any mistakes, as editing takes place as the story progresses!

Ravi)  
I missed this club. All my friends are still here, true friends, that stood by me. Stepping foot back in here brought back memories. I hadn’t been in here for ages, but I was drawn here tonight. The music lured me back to when I danced here. The way the cold metal pole felt in my hands, the noisy murmurs of customers chatting us up. Running into Yoongi, the owner, gave me an idea. 

“Hey, can I ask for a favor?”

“Sure, anything for you Ravi.”, he patted my shoulder as he took a seat by me.

“Can I dance tonight? I really miss this, and I want to feel free tonight. I need to dance, I miss it.”

“Really, you want to dance, just for the hell of it?”, he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, really. You know how much I loved it up there. Just one more time? Please?”, I gave my best aegyo.

“Fine, go ahead. Honestly, I miss seeing you up there too. You were always my best.”

Jumping up, I gave him a quick pat on the shoulder and headed backstage. Everyone greeted me with a hug and smiles. Gah, it felt great being back here. I knew immediately I would be back again.

When the lights went down, I went up. Wearing my loose button down shirt, my black skinny jeans and boots. The music began, and I let it take control of my body. I could sense it taking me like a lover, moving me in synch with the beat, moving together in a sensual dance.

(Leo)

I've missed this. I've been a lot of places in the last several years, but none held the same place in my heart as Seoul. This city was home, and I was so glad to be back, and even though I had no idea how to spend my first night back, I knew I wasn't going to spend it unpacking boxes in my apartment. So, I decided that I would go out, no destination in mind, and see where I wound up. Grabbing my phone and my keys, I head out. 

The city seemed to embrace me with its warm night air. The lights of the skyscrapers twinkle like nowhere else in the world, and even the sounds of the traffic seem different somehow. I just wander, not paying attention to where I am, until I find myself staring up at a soft pink neon sign. 

Club Soap. 

Interesting name. I smile to myself before deciding to go in. Maybe surrounding myself with people is just what I need after so long away. Plus, a drink could never hurt. So before I can second guess myself, I open the door and step into the cool, softly lit interior. 

The inside of the club is more plush than I would have imagined. It seems pretty high class, with black booths lining one wall, tables draped with dark material scattered in the middle, and a large, dark grey stone and glass bar on the right wall. And in between the tables, near enough to get a good look, but not close enough to touch, are three shiny silver poles. 

I'm surprised, but only momentarily. A high end club like this probably caters to rich clientele, and so what would be illegal in a less sophisticated club is overlooked here. Shaking my head, I turn and head for the bar. I know that they won't have anything less than top shelf, so to treat myself, I order a Yamakazi whiskey on the rocks. It's smooth, with just the right amount of burn. I pay for the drink and head to the booth closest to the back corner. As I take a seat, a man steps out from behind the bar with a headset microphone. He walks with a feline grace to stand between the two poles furthest from me, and announces the beginning of the evening's entertainment. It's not something I'm all that interested in, but I'm here so I might as well enjoy. The first dancer’s name is Shiki, and he's a tantalising dancer. He seems as if he were born to dance, and the pole is both an extension of himself and a way of expressing himself. But as he performs, I can't help but get a niggling feeling that he's familiar. Something about his lithe body, the way he moves, sparks some long-forgotten memory in me. As he spins down the pole from the top at the end of the song, a light illuminates him from above and I get a good glimpse of his face. 

Ravi, wait for me! 

Come on, slow-poke! I hurry to catch him, and we fall onto the cool fall ground, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of leaves, crimson and yellow and orange. 

What do you want to be when you grow up, Ravi? 

A dancer. 

There's no hesitation in his voice, just a deep yearning. Even at this young age, I know just what to say. 

You'll be a great dancer, Ravi, I just know it. And I'll always be there to cheer you on. Promise. 

I sit, frozen, watching him rise from the ground and walk away from me, just like he did years ago. 

“Ravi.”

(Ravi)  
Stepping from the stage, beads of sweat trailing down my face and neck, I felt invigorated. Dancing to me was, almost, better than sex. Being on that stage was like letting a voyeur watch me pleasing my lover. Feeling the eyes of everyone on me was, how do I describe it, orgasmic. I even remember when I worked here, getting so worked up by the feeling that I had to do something before I left, anything to release the sexual tension. Tonight though, was different. Tonight it wasn’t work, but fun. It felt freeing to just dance for no other reason except to dance. The lights shining on me, my dancing keeping the customers entranced. 

I wiped myself down, changing into another shirt before stepping back onto the main floor. Heading to the bar, I was stopped by Yoongi.

“Damn, Ravi, I never saw you move like that when you worked here. That was pretty fucking amazing. I already overheard people asking if you were working here.”, he smirked.

“Oh, is that so? Well you never know. I might just be coming back for stress relief every now and then.”

“That would be great. I would of course pay you your percentage of the nightly intake.”

“We’ll see Yoongi, but right now I just want a drink. Do you have any more of that twenty year Yamazaki? Straight.”

“You got it, be right back.”, then he was off.

I found a booth toward the stage yet still back a little. Settling myself in, I laid my head against the cool leather and closed my eyes. When the music started again, I opened my eyes to see Vixxen dancing on the pole closest to me. She was pretty, long black hair swept up into a ballet bun, exposing her long neck. Her legs were a mile long, wrapping themselves perfectly around the pole.

“Hey Ravi, it was awesome seeing you up there tonight.”, she whispered as she dipped her head back off the stage.

“Thank Vixxen, you look pretty awesome yourself.”, I just smiled at her as she continued dancing.

One thing about this place, we all flirted, but never crossed that line. Customers were a different story for most of them though. I never crossed it, but then again, I only had a heart for someone else. Even if I hadn’t talked to that person in years, no one could match up.

Leo, what are your plans after we graduate?

I think I am going abroad to study. I was offered a scholarship to attend Amsterdam. A full ride.

Really? That far? I thought maybe you would go to Kyungpook or maybe Yonsei. Not fucking Netherland!

What’s the big deal Rav? We can still hangout on holidays. You sound like some teenaged lovestruck girl!

Whatever Leo! It’s just that I’m going to miss hanging out with you. 

I’m going to miss you. If only you knew Leo, if only you knew.

That summer he was gone. I sat down with him the night before he left. I had to tell him how I felt. I had to know if he felt the same way. As strange as it sounds, I think it had always been Leo that had my heart, even when we were little. It was always us against the world, us sneaking out to drink or just talk. 

So you leave tomorrow, huh?

Yeah. Everything has already been shipped over. I’m glad we got to hang out before I left.

Leo? I need to tell you something.

Everything okay Rav? 

Yeah, maybe. Hell! I don’t know yet. But I need to tell you something.

You can always tell me anything, you know that.

Well… I-I think I love you.

Dude. I love you too, you're my best friend.

No, Leo, I mean I..Dammit. I’m in love with you!

(Leo)  
I don't know what to do. What can I do? I sit in shock, just watching Ravi as he changes and then has a short conversation with a guy I don't recognize. Then, he heads to a booth just one away from me. Now I feel trapped. There's no way I can just walk past him without him seeing me. I wonder how long he'll sit there. And even though I know I shouldn't, I can't help but stare at him. He was always attractive, there's no denying that. Even as a kid, he attracted girls, and even some boys, like moths to flame. 

And me? Ravi had been my friend since before I could remember. We'd always been together, two halves of a whole. 

Leo and Ravi. 

LeoandRavi. 

When had that changed? I can't pinpoint a precise moment, but I do remember the last time we talked. It still hurt to remember. 

I have something to tell you. 

Stupid, clueless. I would give anything to go back and erase that night. Or at least what I said to him. 

I-I love you. 

Dude, I love you too, you're my best friend. 

No, Leo, dammit, I mean I'm in love with you! 

My best friend had spilled his heart out to me, and what had I done but shot him down? 

No, that's not right. I'd destroyed him. 

You-what? C'mon Ravi, quit joking. 

But even as I'd said it, I'd had the slow realization, staring into his dark eyes shining with tears, that he wasn't joking. 

I don't-no! Ravi, I love you like a brother, but this-this is too much! 

I'd grabbed my jacket and ran from his room, from his house and his confession.

And I'd been running ever since. 

 

(Ravi)

Ever since I confessed, ever since I was stupid enough to tell my best friend how I felt, I never let myself get attached to anyone. Having your heart ripped out and trampled on does that to a person. Even so, I still loved him. I still love him. Crazy as that sounds, even to myself, I know I do. When he left my room that night, he left my life. He never called, never returned my calls. When he came home, he didn’t see me. After the first year, I gave up trying to get in touch with him. That’s when I started working at Club Soap. Dancing was my therapy. Dancing for others, that was my drug. I could at least pour my heart into dancing. I could lose myself and forget the heartache, just for a little while. When he graduated, his parents told mine that he had gotten an internship at a law firm in Japan. He was avoiding me, I knew he was, and it hurt like hell. If I could turn back the clock, I would of kept my damn mouth shut, and loved him in my own little world. Almost six years had passed since that night, and he still had my heart. I wondered if I would ever get past him. If I would ever love someone, someone else.

When the music had died down and last call was given, I got up and left. I went backstage and told everyone goodbye, leaving through the back exit. I walked the alley, my own music playing in my head as I danced my way home. At least I would forget for a little while.

Stepping into the starkly empty apartment I called home, I poured myself a drink and turned on the stereo. I kept my floors bare, since I used my place as a dance studio too. Drink in hand, I bowed my head, letting the bass set the rhythm of my heartbeat. Eyes closed, I began moving. Singing along with the artist, I let go. Nothing sensual like at the club, but hard and fast. Why did he have to cross my mind tonight? I had done so well at trying to forget him.

Leo. wherever you are, I hope your happy. I hope you are having a good life and staying healthy.

I danced until my bones ached, finally laying down in the middle of my floor, sweat covering me from head to toe. My breathing was slowly returning to normal, when all of the sudden his face popped in my mind. His smile, those mesmerizing eyes, filling my brain. I could feel myself getting hard just thinking about him. The things he could do to me by just thinking of him! Dammit all to hell, Ravi, pull yourself together, I told myself. I shook my head, clearing away any thoughts of him. 

I needed a release, just this once. I needed to feel a body wrapped around mine. I needed to feel like someone loved me, wanted me. Pulling up her name, I hit the call button.

Haerin, it’s Ravi.

Hey there, it’s awfully late. What’s up?

Can you come over?

Right now? Uhh, yeah I guess. See you in thirty?

See you in thirty. Thanks Haerin.

No problem, bye

Thirty minutes on the dot and she was knocking on my door. Answering the door, still covered in sweat, I let her in. I didn’t even hesitate, didn’t give her a chance to take her jacket off before I had her in my arms. I kissed her desperately, his lips were all I saw. Stripping her down, I imagined stripping him down. Settling between her legs, I felt his body beneath mine. Then I couldn’t. I just couldn’t do it. Not to her. She was a dear friend and I couldn’t use her like that.

Fuck you Leo. 

After apologizing profusely, I walked her out. Once again I turned the music on, and turned my mind off. I danced, screamed, cried and danced some more until I collapsed. By that time, I was able to get him out of my mind, for now


	2. Ch. 2

(Leo)

I was conflicted. Even as I sat, watching Ravi preparing to leave as the club shut down, part of me wondered what it would be like to approach him. To see the surprise on his face… 

But no. I'd burned that bridge so long ago that I wasn't sure it could be mended, no matter how badly I felt about it now. So I watched him go, then headed for the front door of the club, sighing as I stepped into the cool, early morning air. It was two am and most of the city slept. That's what I should do-grab a taxi, go home and curl up in bed and try to forget I'd even seen Ravi. And it's precisely because that's what I should have done, that I didn't do it. 

Instead, I allowed my feet to guide me. I didn't care where I was going, nor where I ended up, I just needed the time to process the emotions warring in my heart. Guilt, regret, anger, and a spark of need to make it right. 

But how could I ever do that? And what if tonight were a fluke? After all, Seoul is a huge city, and finding him again would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I could contact his family, or have my parents call his… 

I shake my head. I'm not a child anymore, to a drag my parents into this. It's a miracle I even saw him tonight, and I'm no big believer in coincidence. So what if I saw him for a reason? I have no idea what that idea could be, but as I turn my feet toward home, I find myself wishing that fate would intervene, just once more, so that I could try to fix what I'd broken all those years ago. To tell him I'm sorry. But I know it wouldn't fix anything. And besides, who's to say it wouldn't do more harm than good? Maybe he's moved on-it's been almost six years, after all. And maybe he's happy with his life. 

Who am I to mess with that? 

The sun is turning the sky light when I finally get home. My body hurts a bit, and my head is a bit fuzzy from the after-effects of the drink at the club.

I shed my clothes into a pile on the floor, past caring, and slide into the cool sheets of my bed. But as I drift off to sleep, thoughts of Ravi dancing come unbidden to my mind, and I drift off to the sound of the music and the sight of the spinning of his body. 

(Ravi)

I was exhausted. I had danced all night, fighting with my memories and desires. I made my way to the bed, falling face first into my pillows. I slept like a baby, no dreams, no heartache, nothing but darkness. I am thankful for times like this, moments that I can fully rest. When I awoke it was faintly light. Feeling rested, I went to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the shelf, and fixed myself another drink. Checking my phone, I saw a message from Haerin. Shit, I hope she wasn’t mad at me.

Ravi, don’t know what happened earlier.  
Is everything okay?   
I’m glad we didn’t do anything, don’t want to mess up a good thing.   
Sorry if I seemed mad, I’m not. Call me later.

Yeah, that wasn’t happening any time soon. I had to get rid of my own guilt first. How stupid of me to think that using someone would get me passed my damn need for someone who didn’t want to be with me. I wondered of he was married by now, had any kids. The whole white picket fence, dog and two point five kids. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing, I knew he wasn’t thinking of me, and I knew I should do the same thing, But that was easier said than done. It hasn’t happened after six years, and it probably wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

Settling in the couch, I finished my drink. I had to promise myself that I would move on, find someone to give my heart to. He didn't love me, and I was just torturing myself in a one-sided love affair. As I watched outside the window, I resigned to the fact that I was going to find a way to get over him. I had to let him go, and I had to be free. 

What I needed was caffeine. Pulling my tired and sore body from it's spot, I got dressed. Grey Joggers and a white tank were the attire of the day, I didn't really care who saw me. Heading to the small Cafe at the corner, I ordered my usual, double espresso and bagel. Taking a seat outside, I watched the city come to life.

 

 

(Leo) 

I wake up with a groan. My throat is dry, my mouth filled with cotton and my head is pounding. It's entirely too bright and hot for… What time is it anyway? I roll over, groping for my cell, and press the home button. 

9:27. 

Ugh. Thank God I don't have anywhere to be. No way would I make it today. I force myself to swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit up. The motion doesn't help my head any, but neither will laying in bed all day. So I get up and stumble as carefully as I can to the bathroom. I swallow three pills with a cool glass of water, then brush my teeth before I climb into a warm shower. Emerging into the now cool-feeling air, I'm feeling more human. 

I have to dig through a box or two to find something decent to wear- I really need to finish unpacking, but I'm still too unsteady from seeing Ravi last night to be concerned with something so mundane. I slip into black boxers, dark jeans and a pale blue shirt. I've decided I'll go out again, maybe to the coffee shop down the street. Caffeine and a donut sound really good right now. So, after I find a pair of socks, I slip them on my feet and grab my cell. Then I have the worst idea. 

I could ask my parents if they have Ravi’s number. 

I know before the thought is even fully formed just how extremely stupid it is. I've let sleeping dogs lie for six years. Why would I poke it with a stick now? But seeing him last night… It's awakened something in me that I thought I'd buried a long time ago. It's regret, for all the things we might have done, for all the ways our friendship could have grown, if only… 

If only I hadn't said the things I did, reacted the way I did. I don't even know now why I'd run from him for so long. Surely he'd forgotten all about his teenage crush on me-and besides, wasn't it natural for teens to explore their sexuality? For all I know, it had been a way for him to experience something different, something he'd grown beyond, and even now saw as just another normal part of growing up. And I had thrown away years of friendship without even talking about it. 

Without even hardly a goodbye. 

Shame settles low in my stomach. How could I have done that to the person who'd always been there for me? I'd been a terrible friend that night, I knew that now. But maybe I could make it right again. 

Maybe.

So before I could second guess myself, i typed a quick text out to my dad. He was less questioning and probing than my mother, and he would get me the number, no questions asked. Then I pressed the send button, rose and headed for the door before I could stop to second guess what I’d just done. Slipping my shoes on, I decided it was better to leave my phone behind, to avoid any more bad decisions. I put it down on the small table by the door, then grabbed my keys and shut the door firmly behind me. 

(Ravi)

The waitress brought my order, greeting me with her usual smile. I grinned back at her, waiting for her routine of trying to ask me out.

Ravi, you're out early today. Rough night?

Yeah, couldn't sleep. Decided to try some new choreo.

Oh! I would love to see you dance sometime. From what I've heard, you're pretty good.

Thanks, but I don't really like people seeing me practice. No offense to you, but it's kinda my personal time.

Oh, well, okay. Anyway, enjoy and have a great day.

Poor girl, she was persistent, but I was more so. Practicing is my personal time, and I want to keep it that way. Taking a bite from the bagel, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I looked at the number. 

Why is Mr. Jung texting me?

Looking at the message, I read it slowly 

Ravi, hope all is well. I need to ask you something. Please call when you can.

When was this all about? I pulled up the keyboard, hurriedly texting a reply.

Mr. Jung. Nice to hear from you. Hoping all is well. I will call you in a bit. 

I quickly finished the bagel and downed my coffee. Cleaning off my table, I started jogging back to my place. Someone caught my attention it off the corner of my eye. My heart stopped. It couldn't be him, he's in Japan from what his mom told my mother. Stepping back inside, I called Mr. Jung back.

Good morning Mr. Jung. Hope are you doing?

Fine, thank you. I am sorry to bother you, but I wanted to ask you something before I have an answer to someone.

Sure, what do you need?

Mr and Mrs Jung knew, as well as my parents, that Leo and I hadn't talked in ages. I never told them why, and I assumed Leo didn't either. It was just an unspoken thing.

Leo sent me a message, asking me if I had your number. Now I know you haven't talked to each other in a while, so I wanted to make sure you were okay with it before I responded back to him.

What the hell? Why would he want my number? All this, after I had finally resolved to forget him. He really knew how to screw things over! 

Sure. You can give it to him. Thanks for asking me first. Tell Mrs. Jung hi for me.

Will do, Ravi. May I say something else?

Yeah, of course.

Whatever happened between you two. I hope you can both make amends. 

Yeah. Bye, thanks again for calling.

Bye.

I honestly had no idea why he would be wanting to talk too me after all these years. The one good thing out of it though, would be a way of closure. Telling him I've moved on, forgotten about him. It would be cathartic for me.


	3. Chapter 3

(Leo part) 

The short walk to the cafe helped clear my head, and by the time I got there, I was feeling almost happy. Opening the door, I inhaled the scent of sweet pastry and bitter coffee. I ordered a black coffee and jelly filled donut-raspberry, my favorite. I watched them bag my donut, paid quickly and was out the door in less than five minutes. I decided to drink the coffee on my way home, then munch down on my donut before I really started tackling unloading all my boxes. It needed to be done, and it would give me a way to take my mind off Ravi. 

Shaking my head, I firmly put all thoughts of him away. Today was about doing what needed to be done, and I was determined. Thankful for the short walk, by the time I'd gotten home, I'd finished my coffee, and threw the cup away in the trash can I kept by the door for the propose. Kicking off my shoes, I pulled my donut from the bag and held it between my teeth as I grabbed a random box and put it on the kitchen counter. Then, holding the donut in one hand, I started unpacking the box. 

A couple hours later, I'd made a good dent in my unpacking. Empty boxes were stacked neatly against the living room wall near the door, and the apartment had started to take on an air of occupation. I looked around, smiling slightly at the pictures I'd put up around the large main area. There were framed prints of places I'd seen, like Amsterdam and Paris, where I'd taken a short vacation during one Christmas holiday from school. And there were pictures of places I'd never been as well, like the skyline of New York, and a panoramic view of London. Then there were the pictures of friends I'd made during uni, all precious memories. 

Memories. 

Suddenly I remembered my phone, and the message I'd sent my dad hours ago. I went to grab my phone, both hopeful and dreading it as well. Picking it up, I unlocked the screen and saw one new text. Opening it, I saw it was from my dad. 

Leo, I talked to Ravi today, and got his permission to give you his number. I'm not going to ask why you want it at this late date, because I trust you know what you're doing, son. And I hope, whatever happened between you two in the past, you can work it out. 

Below the text was a number. 

Ravi’s number. Could I call him? Did I dare? My stomach was suddenly tied in knots and it was hard to breathe. I didn't know if I could do this, even though I'd wanted nothing more earlier. What a difference a few hours made! But, no, I had to do this. Needed to. It was years past due. So, should I call, or text? Calling seemed more personal, so maybe a text, to put the ball in his court, let him decide if he wanted to communicate. So I typed a quick message. 

Hi, Ravi. It's Leo. I know it must be a shock to hear from me after so long, but I just wanted to reach out, see if you wanted to talk? Whatever you decide, I'll respect it. Hope to hear back from you soon! 

That seemed safe enough, so I swiftly entered his number and hit the send button before I could think better of it. Then I crossed by arms on the counter, leaning over and breathing heavily, trying not to feel sick. 

(Ravi part)

Sitting down on the bed, I swing my legs up, leaning back on the headboard. My phone went off, alerting me to a message. My heart began to race. Was it him? Should I even look at it? I am supposed to be getting over his hold on me, not getting nervous at the chance of him contacting me.

I noticed my hand shaking violently as I picked up the phone. Bringing the screen up, I saw the new message alert. I didn't recognize the number. Pressing the screen, the text opened up.

Hi, Ravi. It's Leo. I know it must be a shock to hear from me after so long, but I just wanted to reach out, see if you wanted to talk? Whatever you decide, I'll respect it. Hope to hear back from you soon! 

A shock? That would be the understatement of the year. This went beyond shock, way beyond. I wasn't sure if I felt excited or angry. Angry that he went six damn years without a word, and now his text was so nonchalant, like nothing had happened. I was a bit excited that he still thought about me. 

I kept staring at the screen, frozen. Did I want to reply quickly, or make him wait? My heart got the best of me. 

Stupid heart.

I began typing, think hard about what I wanted to say.

Leo. This is quite a shock indeed. It has been a long while. Hope everything is okay. If you want to call me, that’s cool. Would be nice to chat.

Short and sweet, to the point. I didn’t want him to think that I was dying to talk to him, that I would answer before the first ring was finished. 

Foolish heart.

Hitting send, I ran to the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet, I threw up, my nerves twisting my guts. I had to remind myself that talking to him was going to be closure. Tell him how mad I was that he just left that night and never gave me an explanation or a goodbye. I wanted to tell him that I am finally ready to let him go, even if he had let our friendship go all those years back. Washing my face off, I set my phone on the counter and slid my body down the door. I felt like I was preparing myself for the war of my life. 

I leaned my head on my knees, taking slow deep breaths. Trying to calm my trembling body. I had not been this nervous since I confessed to him. My heart was ripped in half that night, and I don’t think I could have it ripped apart again.

(Leo part)

I didn't know if I even expected him to answer, but certainly not as quickly as he did. Picking my phone up with a trembling hand, I opened the message. 

Leo. This is quite a shock indeed. It has been a long while. Hope everything is okay. If you want to call me, that’s cool. Would be nice to chat.

Calm, bland. Oh, God, what had I been thinking? He was probably at home with his girlfriend, cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, in no way interested in actually talking to me. 

Still, he had answered, so didn't I owe it to him to at least call? 

I carried my phone over to the couch, where I sank down onto the plush pillows. Taking a deep breath to steel myself and quell the quaking going on inside me, I tapped the call button below his text, and brought it to my ear, the dialing tone sharp as a knife. I sat, frozen, cold as a statute, and waited for him to answer. 

(Ravi Part)

I jumped in my skin when I heard the phone ringing. I could feel the bile rising in my throat again. 

Three rings.

I swallowed hard, reaching for the phone.

Five rings.

I swiped to answer, clearing my throat before speaking.

Hello?

That sounded relaxed, right? I hoped so, I could never hide things from him.

(Leo Part)

 

He answered. For a moment, I couldn't answer his hello. His voice was a bit deeper than I remembered, or was it just that I hadn't heard it in so long? But it was still as expressive as it had been then, and I knew with a sudden clarity that he was just as nervous as I was to talk again. Taking a breath, I made myself answer. 

Ravi. Hi. It's Leo. 

Stupid, of course he knew it was me. But what else was I supposed to open with? I squeezed my phone hard and waited for him to answer. 

(Ravi part)  
Ahh, that tenor voice. I have heard it in my head everyday for years, but now it had a tinge of age to it. I had to chuckle when he said it was him.

Hey, kinda figured it was you. So you wanted to reach out, huh? Took you long enough. 

I hated sounding like an ass, but it was the only way I could keep my emotions in check. If I wavered, I would lose it and break down like a blubbering idiot. I had wanted to hear his voice, wanted to hear him just one more time. But, I had to keep my tone aloof. Maybe it would make him feel a little bad for taking an eternity.

(Leo Part)

Took you long enough. 

Ouch. I deserved his rancour, but at the same time, I couldn't help but chuckle. That was the Ravi I remembered, holding me accountable when I'd messed up. 

Yes, I know. That's why I wanted to talk. I- Well, I just moved back to Seoul. I've only been here a couple of days, but I've been thinking of you for, well, a long time. I-Damn, I don't know what to say. Actually, I do know what to say, but I don't want to say it over the phone. Would you, um, maybe be willing to meet somewhere, to talk face to face? I know it's a lot to ask, coming from me, but, well, I'd appreciate it. 

(Ravi Part)

Oh shit! He’s back? Back here? Why are you being so cruel Lady Luck? Just my luck, I want to forget him, and the son of a bitch moves back! I had to bring myself back to the present, listening to what he was saying.

but I've been thinking of you for, well, a long time

He’s been thinking of me? That shook me, hard. At least I wasn’t the only one.

talk face to face

Of course I would! Okay Ravi, keep it cool. Breathe and respond without any emotion.

Yeah, sure, why not. I’m a little busy right now, but I can meet later today. Want to meet at Woo Lae Oak?

Woo Lae was the place we used to eat at on Friday nights. We would all get together, always Leo and I, with a few friends. Eat, drink, and be merry. Those were the days. I would do anything to hear him laugh or make him smile. That was our place.

 

(Leo part) 

 

Woo Lae Oak. Of course he would pick the place that had always been ours. Even when surrounded by our other friends, somehow it had belonged to us alone. That made me smile and I felt a tiny tendril of hope blossom in my chest. 

Yea, I can do that. What time were you thinking? 

 

(Ravi part)

I smiled when he agreed to meet me there. At least there would be people around that we knew and I could relax a bit. We’ve known the owners since we were practically babies, and grew up with the now owners.

I have to work for a few hours, so how about eight? Or is that to late?

I was hoping for late so I could have time to teach a few dance classes and still have time to shower and get cleaned up. I mentally smacked myself for wanting to look nice for him. This was my sending him off meeting, not a hook-up. 

But, I did want him to see what he’s been missing. I wanted to make his jaw drop, knowing that I had managed to stay in peak shape with dancing, adding some more muscles and height to my frame.

(Leo Part)

Eight is perfect. 

That would give me time to finish cleaning up after my unpacking, and time to decide what to wear. Because even though this was Ravi, something made me want to look good. It wasn't that I wanted to show off, more like he deserved it after the way I'd left our friendship. As if my choice of clothing would somehow let him know just how serious I was about making amends. Which, if I knew anything about myself, would mean hours of pairing items, obsessing, second guessing, then going with almost the first thing I'd chosen. I wondered if he remembered that I had done that even when we had been high school students, and I'd gone on my first date. I'm sure I'd amused him to no end with my uncertainty. But now it was time to wrap it up and focus on getting through the next several hours. 

I'll see you there. Oh, and Ravi? 

 

(Ravi part)

Great, he agreed. Now to start thinking of what to wear. I was nowhere near as obsessed about my clothes as Leo was, but I still wanted to look nice for him. I had to teach a few dance sessions today, but after that I could take my time and wear something that he liked. He always had input on what I wore when we would go out, sometimes taking clothes from the other’s closet. 

My mind was racing, the same pace as my heart. I was proud of myself though, for staying so calm over the phone. If he could see me now, he would laugh at me, my palms sweating and my mile wide grin.

Yeah? What?

(Leo part)

Thank you. This really means a lot to me. 

I tried to pour as much emotion into those words as I could, then held my breath, waiting for him to answer. 

 

(Ravi part)  
God he sounded so… hot! I knew I would regret this meeting later, but right now, hearing him, I couldn’t care less.

It’s all good. See ya later.

I had to hang up before I said something ridiculous. Once I was positive the line was dead, I exhaled the breath I had been holding. My lungs burned, my face hurt from smiling like an idiot, and my chest hurt from my heart trying to pound out of it. Taking a minute to gather myself, I got ready for my students. This would be the best distraction, letting the classes fill my mind with other things.


	4. Chapter 4

Except, that isn’t how it went. Whenever the music started, I would find myself thinking back to when we were always together. Every damn song reminded me of something. I couldn’t even concentrate on the choreography for my newest dance partner. She worked with me on group sessions, but today was spent going over the same moves a thousand times.

Ravi, what is going on in that head of yours? You are never like this!

Sorry Saeyoon. I just have something on my mind. It had me a little rattled.

Well, let’s call it a day. We’ll try it again tomorrow.

Okay, sorry, and thanks.

Finally! I ran to the shower, stripping clothes off along the way. A hot shower and a good scrub did the trick. Wrapping the towel around my waist, i headed for the closet. I opted for my black low-neck tight henley, my tattoo barely visible on my upper chest. Grabbing my black dress pants that hung on my hips ‘just the right way’ and my black dress boots, I put the final touches on my outfit. I placed the silver chain he had given me, as a birthday gift when I was sixteen, on my neck. I pushed my sleeves up, exposing the tattoos on both forearms. I styled my hair, letting my bangs fall to the side. Grabbing my black jacket, I headed out the door.

Here goes nothing… or everything.

 

(Leo part)

I held the phone to my ear until I heard the dial tone. Putting it down carefully, I exhaled, letting my head fall forward in relief. The conversation, while short, had been nothing short of miraculous, or that's how it seemed to me now. I suppose I had imagined yelling and screaming, or at the worst, Ravi’s voice, ice cold, telling me to never contact him again. 

But that's not how it had happened, and now I realized I had a date, of sorts, with the man who had been my best friend. I was suddenly full of questions to ask him. What had he been doing these past years? Obviously he'd been into dancing, that much I knew from watching him at the club. Then a thought occurred to me. Should I bring it up that I'd been there that night? After a moment of deliberation, I decided not to. He would tell me everything he wanted me to know, I just had to not press too hard. 

I cleaned up the apartment, then browsed through my books, trying to find one that would occupy me until it was time to get ready. Of course, that didn't work, so I finally abandoned the attempt and went to my closet to try and sort out my usual outfit problem. After almost an hour going through almost everything I owned, I finally decided on dark blue dress pants, and a pale ivory button up shirt. Paired with my small heeled boots, I knew I'd look good, but not overstated. 

That hurdle overcome, I took a leisurely shower, letting the hot water pound down on me, washing away some of the apprehension I was feeling. But of course, by the time I'd gotten dried and dressed, it was back in full force. I stood before the mirror, trying to style my hair as well as quell the butterflies in my stomach, but neither were co-operative. I was ready to scream when I finally decided to just run my fingers through my unruly locks, and amazingly that seemed to do the trick. I added a bit of eyeliner-my one true concession to vanity, my eyes being to my thinking my best feature- and deemed myself ready. It was a bit early, but better early than late. So I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys and locked my apartment door behind me. 

 

(Ravi part) 

The entire drive to Woo Lae I was switching back and forth between turning tail and running, or following through with this. When I thought about how he had just left, how he said that my feelings were ‘too much’ for him to handle, I just wanted to forget about all of this. What if he saw me and then rejected me before we even got to talk.

But then again, what if he really did miss me, what if he wanted to start our friendship back up? That would be tricky, but maybe I could keep my feelings in check. Who was I kidding! I couldn’t do that. I still loved him. That has never changed. I hit my fist on the steering wheel, cursing at the air. 

I arrived early, just taking the time to sit in my car and calm my nervous stomach. Looking through the diner windows, I was flooded with memories. I could see me and Leo, sitting at our favorite table by the window, laughing and stuffing our faces with spicy beef bulgogi. I pictured us helping the elderly owners in the kitchen when we had free time, enjoying the stories they told us.

I watched a blue Hyundai Genesis pull up. With the sun low in the sky, I had to focus on who the driver was. My eyes grew wide as I watched him step out. The blue pants hugged his hips, the ivory dress shirt made his already caramel chocolate skin glow brighter. His dark hair styled much different than I remembered. He had grown a few inches, his body filling out in every perfect way.The way he walked, with a bit of confidence, was mesmerizing. I licked my lips, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth. I had to mentally will my body to not react, already feeling a strain in my crotch. Taking a deep breath, i opened my door and slid out.

 

(Leo part)

The drive over was soothing. It was the first time I'd slid behind the wheel of a car here in Seoul in a long time. But navigating came back to me quickly, and it was almost as if I'd never left. Driving here didn't require a lot of thinking, which let me get out of my head for a little bit. 

Or at least until I get to the restaurant. Then I get nervous again. But this is no time to show just how fluttery my stomach is, and knowing my luck, Ravi is already inside, waiting on me. So I slide out of the car, locking the doors with the key fob as I head for the front door of the restaurant, trying to look more confident than I feel. After all, the trick is to fake it until you make it, right? 

 

(Ravi part) 

Locking the door to my silver Hyundai Veloster, I forced myself to take the first step. I walked slowly, head looking down, afraid to look up and risk seeing him from outside. If I made it in the door, then I couldn’t walk away. Steeling my resolve, I took the last few steps before pulling the door open. Baekhyun greeted me with a surprised expression before turning his head to look in, what I suspected, was Leo’s direction.

I followed his eyes with my own, my vision settling on the one person who had filled my dreams and nightmares nearly every day since he walked out of my life. Lifting my head, our eyes met. My heart stopped, and I could feel tiny beads of cool sweat running down my back. I couldn’t move, my feet were glued to the floor, my heart willing my feet to move, my head refusing to cooperate at all. 

Man, what a surprise! I haven’t seen you in months. Haven’t seen that one there for years. And here you both are, at the same time. That’s weird isn’t it? Go grab a seat, you know the drill.

Huh? Wha-what? Oh, yeah. Weird. Good seeing you too Baek. 

He walked away but I still didn’t move. I just wanted to look at him before I made a fateful step. He looked even more handsome up close. I noticed his eyes, always with the eyeliner, pupils wide. Everytime I looked at him when we were younger, I would get lost in his eyes. It was the exact same tonight. His jawline was sharper, his shoulders a bit broader. He was the same yet so different at the same time.

(Leo part)

I made the obligatory small talk with Baekhyun that started the moment I stepped in the door. I honestly shouldn't have been surprised-it had been six years since I'd stepped foot in here, and so of course he had to ask me how I'd been, what I'd been up to. I answered automatically, only half listening, my focus on looking for Ravi. Once I'd looked the whole restaurant over and hadn't seen him, I looked again, now slowly. My heart sank when I didn't see him, but maybe he just simply wasn't here yet. 

After extracting myself from Baekhyun’s endless questions, I'd made my way to the center back of the restaurant, by the window to what had been our table. It was second nature to do so, and the seat seemed to mold itself to me, like a hug from an old friend. I fished my phone from my pocket and placed it on the table, swiping the screen to unlock it. 

7:47. 

Still plenty of time for him to show. But what if he didn't? The thought brought an almost physical pain with it. Surely he'd be here-right? I knew I was starting to panic, and thought about sending him a text, but before I could, movement by the door drew my attention. 

There he was. 

I couldn't believe it. I hadn't really had the wherewithal to really look at him when I'd seen him in the club, but in the bright lighting of the restaurant, the changes in him were evident. He wasn't much taller than I remembered, if at all, but his body had obviously been put through years of dance training. There was simply no way to describe it, but a dancers’ body could never be mistaken for anything else. He seemed to radiate a subtle grace, and I was suddenly so, so glad I'd taken the chance to get his number. 

Then he looked at me and our eyes met. It was like falling into the space between stars, even at this distance. Something fleeing showed in those expressive orbs for a moment, then was gone. I swallowed hard, then stood up, not sure how to approach him, and getting more nervous by the second that he would turn and bolt. So, as if I were dealing with a scared wild animal, I didn't move. I'd let him come to me. 

 

(Ravi part) 

When he stood up, I nearly turned and ran, but eased back when he stayed put. I could read his face so well, even now. His brows slightly furrowed as he debated taking a step. The fear in those eyes that were filled with specks of golden honey when the light hit them. I watched his Adam’s apple slowly rise then fall as he swallowed hard. He slowly lowered his head, needing to look at the floor. He was always shy at first encounters, and in a way, that’s what this was. Without even noticing his image was getting closer, I felt my feet were already moving. When he saw me move, he snapped his head back up to watch me. Our eyes remained focused on each other, neither of us daring to look away. When I was close enough to feel his breath on my face, I blinked, breaking the connection. I found his eyes again, my vision becoming blurred. I took a deep breath, demanding myself not to dare cry. I refused to let him see how much pain I had suffered because of him. I swam in those golden brown pools, trying to look somewhere else, but sinking deeper every second I was in front of him. His mouth moved, about to speak, but then closed quickly. I watched him lick those full lips, my gaze following the movement of his tongue. How many times I dreamt of feeling those lips and tongue on me. 

Leo, it-i-it’s good to see you. Been a long time.

(Leo Part)

I watched him, the moments stretching into hours, until he finally started moving toward me. I kept my eyes locked on his. I didn't want to look away, didn't want to make him think by the slightest movement that I regretted being here. As he came to a stop in front of me, I felt a brief flash of… Something. But it was gone almost as soon as I noticed it, so I ignored it. Then he spoke.   
Leo, it-i-it’s good to see you. Been a long time.

His voice was low and slightly husky, and I noticed the sheen of tears in his eyes. My heart broke a little, knowing I was probably the reason they were there. I suddenly wanted to make them go away, to see him smile instead of be sad. So I did the first thing I could think of-I wrapped my arms around him, hoping he wouldn't pull away, wouldn't punch me and run away. And the words I'd kept myself from making any kind of gesture to say came flooding out of me in a torrent. 

Ravi, I'm so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? Please, say you forgive me. Even if I don't deserve it. 

 

(Ravi part)

Every muscle fiber in my being tensed when I saw him move. In a flash, I felt his arms wrap around my neck. Every tear I had held back for all these years were breaking over the dam that kept them at bay. 

This, this is what I had lived to feel for my entire existence. This wasn't the hug of two buddies patting each other's back. The way he hugged me, was different. His arms were locked tight, not letting me move away, as if he feared I would run.

I had no intentions of walking away, instead I leaned into the hug, taking my own shaky arms around embracing him back. I could hear the temple in his voice when he finally spoke to me. That soft tenor voice held so much emotion as is followed from his lips.

Ravi, I'm so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? Please, say you forgive me. Even if I don't deserve it.

This was not going as I had planned, at all. I was supposed to come in here, sit down and have small talk, then tell him that I was done hurting over his rejection, and I never wanted to see him again. 

As we stood there, holding each other, him asking for forgiveness, my resolve melted like snow. Could I forgive him? Should I forgive him? Yes. Yes to both of those questions my brain was asking my heart.

You ran away from me, Leo. Without a word. You left me, our friendship, without trying to understand me or my feelings. 

I pulled away from our embrace to look at him. I wanted him to see my hurt. I wanted to see his face when I answered his question.

How could I forgive you? How can I forgive you for walking out of my room and out of my life? Easily. I can forgive you easily, because unlike you did back then, I care about your feelings.

After I said my peace, I waited with baited breath, for him to speak.

(Leo part)

I knew it was true. I deserved everything he was saying and so much more. I had walked away, run away from my best friend and left him sitting in the dust among the shards of our broken friendship. And even now, I had no words to justify what I'd done. He'd turned to me, bared his heart, expecting, well, I'm not totally sure. Support, if nothing else, for the feelings he had for me. He'd never deserved my callous reaction. Yet even now, he could forgive me, because he valued my feelings. Acknowledging the truth in his words, I clenched my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms, a form of self-punishment. 

I understand, Ravi. I truly do. What I did was-not what you deserved. I was a coward, Ravi, I know that now. I don't know what I expected you to do, and I made the wrong decision walking out of your room that night. 

I shook my head, hard, clenching my jaw to keep my voice from cracking. 

I was a coward. I should have stayed by your side, talked to you. But, God, Ravi, I was a fucking idiot. I can say that I was a kid, that I was young and stupid, but it's just an excuse. The truth is, after I left, I wanted to go back. But I was so confused. After I'd left that way, I didn't know if you'd even want to see me, or hell even talk to me. I tried to stay away because, well, I didn't know how to say I was sorry. But I do now, and I'm asking you to forgive me. And maybe work toward earning your trust again. 

I bit my tongue after I finished, having poured out everything I'd planned to say, and some things I hadn't. And now I had no choice but to wait and see what he would say. 

(Ravi part) 

My ears trained on every word he said, I listened to him spill his heart out. At this moment in time, I did not give a damn if he saw me crying. I just let them flow as he explained why he never tried to reach back out to me. He had been beating himself up all this time too, but for a different reason. Hearing the was his voice cracked, pulled at my chest. I could see the tiny muscle in his jaw twitching as he bit his tongue, probably scared of what I was going to say next. I had to choose my words carefully. I had already decided that I was not going to push him out of my mind, I knew deep down I could never do that, that I didn’t want to do that. Now, here he is, begging for my forgiveness and wanting to rebuild our friendship. I fretted over what he would say, if he would still want that, if I told him how I still felt. Was I able to pretend that I don’t love him, keep it buried away, in order to have him in my life as at least a friend. I longed to have that friendship back, but I knew it would never be the same as it was back then. The closeness we shared then, that was gone. But, I still wanted to have him in my life, however I could get him. If that meant keeping my feelings hidden, then so be it. 

I would like that. I will forgive you, hell we have forgiven each other so many times over in our youth, what’s one more time, right? Just don’t walk out again without talking to me. I don’t think I could live through that again. I think we need to catch up. We need to relearn about each other all over again.

Taking a step back, I held out my hand towards him. He looked confused, looking at my face, then my hand, then back to my face once more.

Hi, my name’s Ravi. Nice to meet you. 

When it hit him what I was doing, I saw a smile growing across those lips, reaching his eyes as he took my hand in his, shaking it.

(Leo part)

I was stunned. To have Ravi forgive me so easily was almost like having a wish granted. I was overwhelmed with emotions, but a crippling sense of relief was the greatest. At the same time, I understood the risk he was taking, both forgiving me and taking a chance on trusting me again. I wanted to somehow tell him that I had grown since then, that I was no longer so shallow and immature, but I knew only showing him would make him believe me. At the same time, however, there was something I could promise him. 

Ravi, I can't tell you that I'll be worthy of your trust, I can only prove that by showing you. But I can promise that, no matter what, I will never walk out on you again. That's a child's way of dealing with conflict, and we're both adults now.

The release I felt was like I was going to collapse, yet at the same time I felt as if I were levitating. When he stuck his hand out, I couldn't help the smile that curled my lips. 

Hi, my name’s Ravi. Nice to meet you.

I wanted to laugh, but I stopped myself, reaching out instead to wrap my fingers around his hand. 

Hi. I'm Leo. Nice to meet you too.


	5. Chapter 5

(Ravi part)

 

We both chuckled as we shook hands. When we realized we were still standing, we felt eyes on us. I ventured a side glance in both directions, seeing Baekhyun standing in the kitchen door watching us. I just shook my head telling him not to ask questions.

 

We sat down, picking up our menus to order. Even though we already knew what we were getting, we made a show of it to pass some time. I had to compose myself, Leo taking the time to bring his breathing back to normal. I had never seen him so nervous or scared, and I am happy that the lost look was replaced with a smile. 

 

We talked about everything that has happened over six years. His almost marriage, his travels, his new niece which he totally adored. How his face lit up talking about experiences that made him who he was now. I told him about my time in Uni, various groups I had led choreography for, my studio and classes. I left out my time of stripping at Club Soap. I did not think he would find that amusing. Also, even though I loved my time doing it, it was not the best of professions in Seoul. 

 

We ordered dinner and Soju. We sat in our seats, at our table, in our favorite diner, and began the process of rebuilding our relationship.

 

(Leo part) 

 

It was really nice to be able to just talk, to fall back into something resembling the comfort we'd enjoyed with each other, before. I found myself telling Ravi everything, from the sights I'd seen, the people I'd met, friends I'd made, though none had come as close to me as he had been. I didn't skimp over anything, even the embarrassing experiences, like the whirlwind romance I'd had, even going so far as to ask the girl to marry me, though her family had put a stop to what I realized now would have been a huge mistake. I watched Ravi’s face the whole time, happy when he smiled or laughed at one of my stories, or stomach swooping when I mentioned something I didn't think he'd approve of. 

 

I also cherished the time I got to sit listening to all the stories he had to tell. It sounded like he'd make a good name for himself with his dance studio, if a few of the band names he dropped were anything to go by. I was seriously impressed that he'd managed to come so far in a few short years, and when he reached for his drink after finishing his latest story, I grabbed his hand. I simply held it for a moment, thinking about what I wanted to say to him now.  

 

_ Ravi… Thank you. For everything. I can't tell you how much it means to me… To have you back.  _

 

(Ravi part) 

I felt the proverbial butterflies in my stomach when he touched my hand and held it. Sure, as kids we held hands when we walked, that was normal around here. But, when he touched it this time, it was different, exciting. I was sure my cheeks flushed, but he didn't let on if he noticed.

 

_ To have you back _

 

Those words lingered over me. They surrounded me in comfort. The thing was, he had never lost me to begin with. I was always thinking about him, always loving him, no matter where he was. When I peered at my watch, it was already way pay closing. I called for Baekhyun, asking for the check.

 

_ It's on the house. I'm just thankful I could worked old friends reconnecting in our old hangout. _

 

We thanked him, leaving a generous tip under our plates. Walking to our cars, we stood in the parking lot together. I wanted to grab him to me, run my fingers through his hair, and kiss him like I had dreamed about over and over. I opted for holding my hands behind my back, wringing them together hurriedly.

 

He was kicking at something on the ground, a cute little habit he had when he was being bashful. I had to see him again, and soon. Debating on asking him to get together this weekend, I wanted to word it so I didn't sound like I was shopping for a date. Though, to be honest, that is exactly what I wanted it to be. Running a hand down over my face, I looked back at him as I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

 

_ Hey Leo. _

 

He peered at me through those think lashes of his, one eyebrow raised in question.

 

_ Hey, let's get together this weekend. I want to show you my studio, maybe you can watch one of my sessions. If I remember correctly, you used to like dancing too. Remember all those dance offs we had? Maybe we can do they again, see if you still got some rhythm in you. _

 

His lips curled into a smirking grin. God he was still sexy as all get out, and I had to fight myself from catching those same lips in a crushing kiss.

 

(Leo part)

 

I hadn't realized how late it had gotten until Ravi glanced at his watch and a look of surprise swept across his face. We'd shut the place down before, but now it was an accomplishment, given our long time apart. When Ravi asked for the check, I wasn't surprised to hear that our meals were on the house. We still put tips under our plates though, just like we always had done. 

 

Walking across the parking lot toward our cars-parked not far from each other- I wished this night never had to end. Pausing by my car, the closer one to the restaurant, I glanced down and kicked at the gravel, wanting so badly to invite Ravi over like I'd done in the past. But I had a feeling it might be a bit much too fast. 

 

_ Hey Leo.  _

 

I looked up at Ravi, who looked distinctly nervous. I raised a brow, letting him know I was listening. 

 

_ Hey, let's get together this weekend. I want to show you my studio, maybe you can watch one of my sessions. If I remember correctly, you used to like dancing too. Remember all those dance offs we had? Maybe we can do they again, see if you still got some rhythm in you. _

 

I grinned. Being with Ravi, and getting to see his studio, sounded wonderful. 

 

_ Sure.  _

 

I tried not to sound too eager. 

 

_ But you better watch yourself. It's been a while since I've danced, but if memory serves, I beat you in every dance off we ever had.  _

 

I choke back a laugh, waiting to see what his reaction will be. 

  
  


(Ravi part) 

 

_ You may have beaten me back then, but nowadays, I can throw you under the bus.  _

 

We both laughed out loud, the first genuine laugh I’ve had in forever. It was music to my ears, hearing his laugh echo in the cool night air. I ached physically when it brought back memories of us laughing together at everything.

 

Agreeing to meet up Friday, he turned to head for his car. I didn't want this night to end, I wouldn't be sleeping any time soon anyway. Maybe I could ask him over for a drink, stay up until sunrise and just be in each other's company. That's what I wanted, no scratch that, what I needed to do. Be with him and feel like I was on top of the world again. 

 

I started to reach for his arm and stop him, but I second guessed myself, halting mid reach. Taking a deep breath, I went for it, taking a hold of his wrist. He spun around, clearly caught off guard. When his eyes meet mine, I was done for. My gaze fell to his mouth, which was still partly opened from surprise. I ran my tongue over parched lips, never taking my eyes off that perfect kissable mouth. 

 

Dammit, he knew how I felt back then. He had to know that I still feel the same way. I was euphoric from being in his presence, and I couldn't help myself. 

 

Leaning in, I came within mere centimeters of his face. Warm breath famed over my face, his scent filling my nostrils with a mixture of after-dinner mint and and spice. It was intoxicating. When he didn't pull back, I inched in a hair closer. My heart was racing, my breathing rushed and staggered. I was so close, I could literally taste him. Heady with need, I gently placed my lips to his. Nothing more than a soft peck, gentle and cautious. I kept waiting for him to push me away and leave me again. But, I didn't want to stop, my heart wouldn't let me, even though my rational brain screamed for me to.

 

(Leo part)

 

_ Yea, right, under the bus. I could dance circles around you, even being years out of practice.  _

 

The sound of his laughter joining mine was heady, and for the moment, all the world felt right. 

 

I agreed to meet him Friday, then turned toward my car, reaching for my pocket where my key fob was stored. Before I could slip my hand into my pocket, however, it was grabbed. I was partly pulled and partly spun around of my own power, startled. When I realized that it was Ravi who had grabbed me, I was relieved. I'd thought it was someone I didn't know, and I almost laughed again, until I realized Ravi’s eyes were looking at the lower half of my face. When he licked his lips, I knew he was going to kiss me. He moved closer, until I could feel the soft fan of his breath mingle with my own. I was frozen, waiting to see what he would do. When his lips brushed across mine, my breath hitched. Something about it felt  _ right _ , the natural progression of friend to something more. 

 

I felt him tense, start to pull away, and suddenly my arms came up to wrap around his waist, pinning him in place. At the same time, my lips came down on his, not rough and demanding, but firm and questing. I prayed he'd open to me, and after a minute, his lips parted under mine and I groaned into the wet heat of his mouth. Dipping my tongue in, reaching for his, I maneuvered us around so I could press him against the side of my car. Glued to my front, and with no way to back away, I deepened the kiss, asking more of him. My hips canted forward, and I felt him whine, our crotches rubbing together. The friction and heat made my head spin, and I broke away from the kiss, gasping. I knew what I wanted, but I wanted to hear him say it. 

 

_ Is this what you want, Ravi? Tell me.  _

  
  


(Ravi part) 

 

When his arms engulfed my waist, I melted into his arms. When his lips pressed against mine, begging for permission to deepen the kiss, I caved. The way he groaned lit a fire in me. Parting my lips for him, I felt his hot tongue delve into my mouth, daring me to stop. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. He turned us around,  pressing his lean frame on mine, taking me between him and the car. I moaned into his kiss, needing to feel him pressed closer against me. When his hips thrusted forward, my legs opened for him to settled between them. I had to have friction, anything to ease the straining of my hardening cock pressing into the tight fabric of my pants. He felt so good, laid along my body, his mouth devouring mine. When he broke from the kiss, I whined audibly, chest heaven from lack of oxygen. 

 

_ Is this what you want, Ravi? Tell me _

 

Without saying a word, I grabbed the back of his head, tangling my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, and pulling him back into another kiss. When my head started swimming, I pulled back.

 

_ Come home with me. Please. You want to hear me say it? I want you, Leo. I always have. God, I want you so fucking bad.  _

 

I stayed there, lips full and bruised from his kiss, pleading silently for him to say yes. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that leads up to sexy times. Which I know everyone has been waiting for! :) Ah, there's a BJ while driving in this chapter, just FYI. Enjoy! ;)

(Leo part)

 

_ Come home with me, Leo. I want you.  _

 

Those words went straight to my cock, and I ground my hips against his as I buried my head in juncture of his neck and shoulder. 

 

_ Oh, my God, Ravi.  _

 

My voice was high and needy, and I couldn't regret it. Was this what I'd run out on all those years ago? The possibility that I might have wanted the same thing Ravi wanted, only I'd been too scared to confront the possibility? I didn't know, and I might never. But right now, in this instant, I knew it was what I wanted more than anything. God, I wanted my best friend. 

 

And he wanted me. 

 

I inhaled deeply, taking in air that smelled deliciously like Ravi, and nipped at his neck. I wanted to bite that pale column of flesh, but, God! We were in the middle of a parking lot. That thought put a slight damper on my body's idea that anything more could be done right here. 

 

Unless we wanted to get arrested, of course. 

 

I giggled softly at the thought, and pulled back just a bit, smiling gently. 

 

_ OK, Ravi. If this is what you want, then yes, I'll go home with you.  _

 

(Ravi part) 

 

_ I'll go home with you.  _

 

I was in heaven, that had to be the only explanation for me hearing him say those words. I didn't want to leave, didn't want to have his body absent from mine. I had to admit I was scared, scared that he would get in his car, realize he was making a mistake and never show up. I had to risk it, though. I already risked his rejection when I kissed him, but he didn't stop me. Nodding my head, I felt him lift off of me, the sudden lack of contact making me shiver. 

 

_ Don't play with my feelings, Leo. Tell me you will come home with me, that you mean it.  _

 

I must have looked desperate to him. My cheeks were flushed, lips red and swollen, lids heavy with lust. I needed that reassurance that he was wanting this a badly as I was. I took his face in my hands, kissing him with such need and want. 

 

_ Fuck Leo! I want you to take me, show me how much you want me.  _

 

_ (Leo part) _

 

_ Jesus, Ravi.  _

 

No sooner had I opened my mouth to tell him that I had no intention of backing out of going home with him, he'd looked at me with those eyes, pupils wide, and lips swollen from my kisses, and told me how much he wanted me to take him. 

 

I almost snapped right then, had to breathe deep and hold myself taut, to remember that we were in public. 

 

_ Want you so bad right now, Ravi.  _

 

I couldn't believe the words spilling from my lips, they came from some deep, dark place inside, and were filled with truth. 

 

_ Want to get you naked, Ravi, touch you all over. Bet you'd love it, wouldn't you? My hands all over you, inside you, fuck, Ravi. You'll be so pretty for me, all spread out and writhing for me, begging me to fuck you, won't you? You'll be so amazing, taking all of my cock inside you, bet I could make you come without even touching you.  _

 

Every word hit him like a physical blow, I could tell, and they affected me as well. My cock was so hard it hurt. We had to get somewhere decent, and fast. I pulled him close to me. 

 

_ Ravi, we have to get somewhere, now. How far to your place? Mine's close, but we'll go to yours if it's closer. If you're OK to drive I'll follow you. I'll make it worth your while, but right now I need you to focus.  _

 

Hah, I was one to talk. 

  
  


(Ravi part) 

 

My head was spinning, my cock throbbing. Just the way he talked had me close. He was right though, I needed to focus. My place was about ten minutes away, but was I okay to drive, hell no. Wheels turning in my brain, I came up with a solution that would work for both of us. There was only one thing. Even though I had wanted to be with Leo since as long as I could remember, I had never actually done  _ anything. _ I had to get that out in the open before things progressed.

 

_ My place is close, ten minutes top. But right now I really don’t think I am capable of driving _ .  _ If you drive, I promise to make up for it along the way. _

 

Yes, I had dreamed about sex with him, more times than I could count. I wanted it, and when I say I want it, I mean more than I want to breathe. Even if he was going to be my first, well technically second, but she didn’t count cause I don’t really remember it. Him being my first excited me even more than I was already. I wanted my first experience to be one of me pleasing him. That, I knew I could do. To have him in my mouth, tasting his salty flesh made my own cock twitch involuntarily in my pants.

 

_ Can you please drive? _

 

_ (Leo part) _

 

_ Ten minutes. Totally doable.  _

 

I unlocked the doors with a quick tap on the button. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a pen and pad of paper I kept in the center console for taking notes while on the phone. I scrawled a note on the top sheet of paper, then ripped it off as I practically growled at Ravi. 

 

_ Get in the car. I'm going to leave a note on yours, saying it broke down. It should be safe for tonight.  _

 

A quick dash and a flick of the windshield wiper and all thoughts of Ravi’s car vanished from my mind. I practically ripped the driver's side door off my own car in my haste, then slid into the cool seat and shut the door, inserting the key into the ignition and starting the car. Then I fumbled for my phone, before handing it to Ravi. 

 

_ Put your address in, so I can navigate, if you're not going to be able to.  _

 

He did so silently, then handed me back my phone. I clipped it into my holder on the dash, then threw my car into gear and almost peeled out of the parking lot. 

 

(Ravi part) 

 

I was internally dying, thankful that I was going to be able to pull off my idea. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, gripping it with all his strength. I couldn’t wait to have those hands on my body, gripping me tightly. 

 

Once we were on the main road, I went into action. Reaching my hand across the middle console,  grabbed his thigh. He growled through his teeth, sparing a look in my direction. I smiled slyly.

 

_ Lean your seat back a bit please.  _

 

Without question, he pulled the lever, leaning the seat back. I ran my hand up his leg, my fingers feeling for the zipper of his pants. When I felt the rough metal, I grasped the pull tab in my fingers, successfully pulling it down in one swift motion. He drew a hard breath in, leg muscles tensing under my touch. Fumbling briefly with the button, I released it. My fingertips stroked the hard length under his boxer briefs. It jumped at the initial touch, lightly continuing to pulse in my grip. I managed to pull it free through the gap in front, letting it fall heavy against his stomach. 

 

The movement of his leg as he changed gears made his cock stand up straight, giving me the perfect opportunity to hold it fully in my hand. Wrapping fingers around it, I started a slow tortuous pump of my hand. His head fell back on the head rest, snapping it back up when he remembered he was driving. I smirked under my breath. Using my free hand, I unlatched my seatbelt. While one hand kept a slow then fast pace of stroking him, i leaned over the console.

 

_ Keep your eyes on the road. Try to keep your focus. Just let me thank you for driving. _

 

Bowing my head, I licked the head, precum already beading at the tip. Wetting my lips,  I parted them, letting him slide slowly into my hot mouth. He was salty, but it didn’t phase me. I lowered my head, taking his full width and length in one inch at a time. Hollowing my cheeks, I had him full to the hilt. Coming back up, my hand returned to pumping him, quicker this time. Swirling my tongue around the head, I felt his entire lower half tense. I hummed in response, the vibrations making him moan loudly. The movement of my hand along with the wet heat of my mouth had him twitching and jumping as I swallowed him whole again. 

 

He grabbed my head, taking a fistful of my hair in his hand. He began controlling the motions, holding me still as I ran my tongue flat on the underside. He pulled my hair back, making me whimper from the deliciously painful sensation. Reaching my free hand under the waistband, i cupped his balls, tickling them with my nails. I felt him tighten in my hands, knowing he was close to his release. I sped up my pace, mouth working in synch with both my hands. When he came, it shot hot and hard, hitting the back of my throat. The taste was different on my palate, but I took every last drop, swallowing him down until he was milked dry. His grip loosened on my hair, his body relaxing from being wound so tight. When I felt him going soft, I lifted my head, looking up at him through my hair. He threw the car in park, pulling into the parking spot for my apartment number.

 

(Leo part)

 

The drive seemed to take forever, yet nowhere near long enough. Ravi’s hands and mouth make it extremely hard to concentrate. Luckily, driving in a different country for several years has made me a cautious and attentive driver. 

 

Of course, all those times I never had an amazingly talented mouth and hands on my cock.

 

I let Ravi tease me for a few minutes, then finally grabbed his hair to control the bobbing motions of his head. When he reaches into the waistband of my pants and cups my balls, I grit my teeth and force myself to make the last turn into the parking lot of his apartment complex, guiding the car into a parking spot as I come down Ravi’s throat. 

 

I have to take a moment to recover as Ravi tucks my spent cock back into my boxers, then zips my pants. I have to fasten the button, and once I do, I turn to him, careful to keep my voice neutral. 

 

_ Stay.  _

 

My voice is rough, but authoritative, and I believe from the look on Ravi’s face that he will do as I say. 

 

I open the door, sliding out a bit unsteadily, shutting the door behind me then rounding the car to the passenger side and open the door. Reaching in, I unsnap Ravi’s seatbelt and grab his upper arm to pull him out of the car. Pushing him out of the way, I shut his door as well, then push up against him. His body seems to mold to mine, and I relish that as I push my knee against the bulge in his pants, while one hand holds his shoulder firmly and the other tangles in his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. It seems like Ravi likes having his hair pulled, or he just likes being manhandled, because he lets out a breathy whine at the rough treatment. 

 

_ You've been a bad boy, Ravi. But you're so good at it. You loved having my cock down your throat, didn't you? And you were so good, swallowing all my come, not wasting a drop. I wonder what else you'll be good at, hm? Do you want to show me?  _

 

(Ravi part) 

 

Being trapped between him and the car, his body pressing into mine, felt exciting. When he pulled my hair forcing my head back, I knew then that I loved him pulling my hair. Who knew that I would have that kind of kink, but I was willing to test it out more. Wiping the corner of my mouth with my thumb, i gave him a cocky smirk. I did love having his throbbing cock in my mouth, thankful for not having a gag reflex when I was feeling him hit the back of my throat. I glared at him, his eyes blown with lust, and his lips latching to the tender flesh at my neck. When he bit down hard, I arched my back into him, a low groan rising from my chest.

 

_ I want you to use me for your own pleasure, Leo. But I have to tell you something. _

 

He gazed at me, waiting for me to continue. His gaze fell back on my neck, the teeth marks already evident.

 

_ I have only been with one person, a girl and I was so drunk I don’t remember it. I want to please you, but I want to take it slow. Enjoy it. I have wanted to be with you for so long, I want to drink you in, explore every inch of you. I want you to show me what it should feel like. I trust you, Leo. I trust you with all of me. _

 

I could feel my body heating up under his stare. His demeanor changed quickly. When he touched my face, he was more gentle. The kiss was slow, hungry, yet caring at the same time. I grabbed his waist, pulling him close to me, my hips pushing into his crotch. To my surprise, he was already getting hard again. I dropped a hand, palming him through his pants, his moans being swallowed in the deep kiss. 

 

We had to get inside before we were caught with indecent exposure. Reaching in my back pocket, I felt around for my keys. Grasping them, I pulled them out and held them up, dangling them near his ear.

 

_ Want to take this inside? _

 

Without breaking the kiss, he swiped the keys from my hand. He took hold of my hand that was working magic on his, now full hard cock, and made it move faster. His other hand had made its way to the back of my head, tangling his longer fingers and pulling my hair harder. The sting nearly brought tears to my eyes, but I reveled in the painful feeling. He liked being in control, that was evident in his actions, and I was more than willing to give it over to him.

 

Suddenly, he was no longer pressed against me. My eyes sprang open, looking for him. He took my wrist, looked at the number on the keys, and began pulling me up the short flight of steps. 

 

(Leo part)

 

My first thought was how I was going to take Ravi at his word, totally wreck him for my own pleasure but at the same time making my pleasure his. 

 

Then he told me he'd only ever been with one person, and a girl at that. If he only knew how amusing I found that-the two of us were minutes away from fucking like rabbits, but neither of us had ever done this before. 

 

Still, the thought of being the first to experience Ravi’s body this way made me shudder. I held him and kissed him, deeply but gently, pushing my hips into his hand as he started rubbing my crotch again, before grabbing his hand and making him rub harder. God, at this rate I would come again in no time, this time in my pants, before we ever made it inside. 

 

Then I heard the jingle of keys near my ear. Without breaking the kiss, I grabbed them from him. Then I pulled away, wrapping my fingers around his wrist as I glanced at the keys to see his apartment number. He made no protest as I yanked him along behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember kids, that giving a bowjob while someone is driving can be dangerous. Just a little obligatory PSA. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that amazingly mind-blowing sex we all know you've been salivating for. ;) You're welcome. :D

(Ravi part) 

 

I obediently followed his guidance, letting my body be half-dragged down the hallway. When we reached my door, he slammed me into it, reaching his hand between my legs while he fumbled with the keys. Hearing the click of the lock, he flung the door open. We stumbled inside, not caring at this point if we fell over. We were a tangle of limbs. I pulled at his shirt, trying to blindly find the buttons. His hands took hold of the waist of my pants, working the button undone. I was getting frustrated at the small buttons, deciding that ripping his shirt off of him was a better option. The sound of fabric tearing under my hands made his hands make faster work of getting my pants off my hips. Stepping out of them while walking backwards, I drug his shirt down his arms. Luckily I knew my way around my place well enough in the dark. Leading the way to my bedroom, he began working on my own shirt, bypassing the waste of time in unbuttoning it. Taking a handful in each hand, he ripped it open, exposing my bare chest to him. 

 

**My hands roamed up his tanned stomach and over his bare chest. His muscle rippled as I drug fingernails over his shoulders and down his back. He spanned his hands over my back, clawing for something to hold on to. I felt the back of my knees hit the mattress, bringing him down with me as I fell down. Using my elbows, I scooted myself further onto the bed, him crawling over me as we focused on each other’s face.**

 

**Here I was, the man that I have loved for over half my life, hovering over me. I was suddenly overwhelmed, tears spilling over without warning. Since it was dark, i didn’t think he could see them. With one hand, I made fast work of undoing his pants, working them over his hips and down his legs. Using his knee, he parted my legs so he could settle himself between them. I opened them willingly, pulling him to me, his hot skin coming in contact with my own heated skin. When he broke the kiss and gasped for air, I felt him relax into my embrace.**

 

**All I could do was watch him. The way his eyes fluttered then closed when he bowed his head, touching his forehead to mine. I could feel his heart beating rapidly, matching mine. He fit with me naturally, our bodies melding together like puzzle pieces that had found their mate.**

 

**(Leo part)**

  
  


**Entering the sanctuary of Ravi’s apartment seemed to be the catalyst for rougher, more desperate actions. There was the sound of ripping fabric, punctuated with soft moans and sighs, from both of us. Clothing was scattered around, neither of us caring where each piece landed, as Ravi pulled me down the dark hallway to his bedroom. When he finally made it to the mattress, he fell backwards, dragging me with him. His legs spread, instinctively, making space for me.**

 

**I knew when he started to cry, his body shaking so slightly that I might not have noticed, if I hadn't been so hyper aware of every move he made. I didn't know if he'd want me pointing out that I knew he was crying, so I put my forehead to his, gently, using the touch to calm both of us. When I felt him relax, I breathed out.**

 

**_Ravi. How… Do you want to do this?_ **

 

**I knew it was a different action to how I'd been earlier, but I was suddenly completely aware of just how new this all was, and I needed to find some firm footing before I continued.**

 

**(Ravi part)**

**As he waited for my answer, I thought about how i did want this to go. Seeing as we were both new to this, I wanted it to be something special for the both of us. I felt like giving him the upper hand, letting him control what happens, how he wants it, was the right decision.**

 

**_I want you to do whatever you want to me. I have what I have always wanted. Give into your own wants. I am yours._ **

 

**I could feel him, thick and heavy against my stomach, begging to be release. Taking his boxers in my hands, I pushed them down, freeing him finally. I removed my boxers, both of us completely naked. I could feel his cock resting along mine, his hips rocking gently. The friction between us wasn’t enough for my liking. Grabbing his bare ass, I began pushing him down into me, his weight resting on top of me. I flashed back to a dream, remembering how he felt. His hands began roaming over my body, light feathery touches that changed to nails digging into flesh. Each trail he left, goosebumps rose. He took my leg, lifting my knee as he slid down. Letting his cock fall between my open legs, the tip grazing my ass and balls sent me into overdrive. Lifting my hips off the bed, I let him settle down deeper. Lips placed open mouthed kisses everywhere. His hand and fingers found my aching cock, wrapping snugly around it. I growled deep, throwing my head back into the pillow.**

 

**_Fuck! Please just do something. I can’t take this teasing. Dammit Leo, please!_ **

 

**That’s all my brain could say. I was putty in his hands, and I had a feeling he was going to mold and shape me to his liking. I was a very willing participant, and I was laid beneath him, desperate and needy.**

 

**(Leo part)**

  
  


**He gave me permission to do anything I wanted, so once we'd been divested of the last remnants of our clothes, I couldn't help teasing him by doing no more than sliding down his body and wrapping one hand leisurely around his cock, stroking it lightly, nowhere near enough friction to get off. I wanted to see him beg, and it didn't take him long to get to that point. Once he had, however, I decided to take pity on him.**

 

**_Is there a lamp by the bed? If so, turn it on. I want to watch you fall apart for me._ **

 

**There was a quick shuffle of his body on the covers before a soft flow illuminated the room. He'd also grabbed a small tube of lube from the nightstand drawer, which he handed to me, head ducked and cheeks flushed. I couldn't help but find him adorable.**

 

**_Lay down, Ravi, spread those dancers legs for me. Hands above your head, and keep them there._ **

 

**He let out a breathy moan as he moved to obey, and my mouth went dry at the sight of his body laid out like a banquet for me. He had a slight six pack, not the bulging arm muscles of someone who lifted weights, but still well defined.**

 

**I reached out and grabbed both of his ankles, forcing his legs up and apart, until he was completely exposed to my gaze. Then I opened the bottle of lube and coated a single finger. Placing it at the entrance to Ravi’s body, I ran a soothing hand up his leg.**

**_Ready?_ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**I simply nodded, slightly tense with anticipation.I felt a finger gentle rubbing circles at the center of my opening. Taking a deep breath, I told him I was ready. With a painstaking movement, he slid one finger just inside. I gasped, willing my body to relax from the new feeling. When he sensed me going lax, he began to slowly insert his finger, stretching me inch by inch. I fisted the sheets in my hands, desperate to ground myself. When he was completely inside me, he allowed me a moment to adjust before sliding in back out. Just as he was about to pull out, he thrust it back in, more forceful this time, bringing my back off the mattress. I sighed as he kept increasing the pace of sliding in and out of me. Once I was a bit more opened for him, he introduced another finger to the attack on my body. I was squirming under him, bringing myself down on his hand. I could feel him stretching me open wider and wider, my moans egging him on.**

 

**_Leo, stop fucking teasing me. I want to feel you inside of me. Fuck me, please just fuck me. I can’t wait for you anymore._ **

 

**As soon as I uttered those words, he was attacking me. He was going to tease me more. Taking me in his hand, he slipped me inside his mouth. It was wet and warm and soft. The way he sucked my cock had me writhing and screaming. I didn’t care who heard me, it felt like I was being wonderfully tortured. When his head began to move up and down, I lifted my head to watch him. He looked at me through heavy lidded eyes, submerging me in the passion we shared in this moment. I felt an unfamiliar burning building low in my gut, the heat spreading throughout my entire being. Running hands up my thighs, lips formed tight around my cock as his tongue traced lines up and down its length, the warmth of the air flowing from his lungs. All of this made me drunk with desire and want. When I was completely engulfed with the heat growing, I let myself go. I felt his lips latch firmly around me as I shot my white hot seed down his waiting throat, the action of swallowing hitting my sensitive tip each time. I was spent, but still craving more of him.**

 

**(Leo Part)**

 

**When Ravi had given me permission to do what I wanted with him, I'd imagined spreading him out, touching him in all the ways I wanted, making it, a bit selfishly, about my own pleasure, even if I knew that my touches would have driven him crazy.**

 

**But the further we went, the more I found myself being gentle where I thought I'd wanted to be rough. I was careful when opening him, watching every eye flutter and drinking the sounds he made like nectar. He was demanding and yet at the same time he knew he couldn't make me go any faster than I wanted to. And each time he begged, I only teased him more.**

 

**Finally, I decided that he'd had enough teasing for a bit, and he had given me quiet the show, laying unashamed before me. So I took his hard length in my mouth, fingers still stroking the warmth of his inner flesh, and swirled my tongue around him, bobbing my head, until he came. I swallowed his come, feeling an unfamiliar satisfaction that I had done that-I'd taken Ravi and given him the greatest pleasure he could have.**

 

**Only, now I was hard again, and there was no more need for teasing and foreplay.**

 

**_I'm going to fuck you, Ravi. Are you ready?_ **

 

**The pupils of his eyes widened and I grinned. Grabbing the tube of lube from amongst the covers, I squeezed a generous dollop into my hand before tossing the tube away. I hissed as I wrapped my fingers around my own length, oiling it. When I decided it was enough, I grabbed his left leg and pulled it up over my shoulder. As a former dancer, I knew it would be a slightly uncomfortable position, but nothing he couldn't handle.**

 

**I rose up higher on my knees and guided the head of my cock to his fluttering opening, and pushed in. It was hot, and wet, and so perfect. I slid in slowly, not wanting to hurt him, even though he was whining for more. When I was completely sheathed inside him, he moved his hips up, trying to make me move.**

 

**Suddenly, I'd had enough.**

 

**_Ravi._ **

 

**I growled his name, raising my hand and bringing it down on the inside of his left thigh. He keened, and a tear formed at the corner of his eye, sliding down the side of his face to his hairline.**

 

**_I'm in charge now, baby, understand?_ **

 

**I punctuated my question with a firm roll of my hips, moving slightly inside him.**

 

**_You will be still, and take what i give you. You can scream, or cry, whatever you feel like doing, but you will not guide me, understand?_ **

 

**He nodded, and I bent down to kiss him. It was soft, to throw him off what i did next.**

 

**As i broke away to breathe, I slid out of him, then slammed home.**

 

**Ravi** **_screamed._ **

 

**I grinned.**

 

**_Good boy, so good for me, so hot and wet for me, God, Ravi. I don't want this to end, want to spend the rest of my life inside your beautiful body…_ **

 

**My words were punctuated by hard thrusts, and Ravi quickly unravelled for me. And when he reached for his cock, I shook my head and swatted his hand away.**

 

**_Nope, no touching. You'll come on my cock, or not at all._ **

 

**I stopped talking then, just focusing on where our bodies joined, and my rapidly approaching orgasm, which I was determined to hold off until I could feel Ravi come around me.**

 

**It didn't take long. A slight change in my thrusts had him choking on his screams as I hit something inside him, and his whole body tensed and he came, strands of white streaking his stomach. The feeling of him clamping around me bordered on painful, but pushed me over the edge, and I cried out his name as I filled him with my come.**

  
  


**(Ravi part)**

 

**When he knelt in front of me, my body on display for his eyes only, I knew I was his. Watching him as he spread the lube over his full girth and length, I saw nothing except his primal sexual need. I held my breath as he slid inside me, doing his best to take it slow and gentle. I was ready for him, moving my hips to bury him deeper, needing to have him fill me. When he was completely sheathed to the base, I lifted my hips, wanting and begging him to move.**

 

**The look in his eyes flashed, and I knew he was on the verge. He had become hungry, primal, and I was his means of release. I kept his beautiful face in my focus, everything around us a blur. I felt the stinging slap to my inner thigh, the pain bringing a tear to my eyes, but elicited such pleasure at the same time.**

 

**_I'm in charge now, baby_ **

 

**His tone was commanding, authoritative, and I loved it. When he rolled his hips ever so slightly, making his cock pulse, I came unglued. Leo telling me that he was the only one in control tonight caused my hole to clench tight around him.**

 

**_God, Ravi. I don't want this to end, want to spend the rest of my life inside your beautiful body…_ **

 

**Those words drifted to my ears, filling me with hope, and I allowed myself to be at his mercy. He marked every syllable with a deep thrust, pushing my body back further on the bed. Tender kisses, a stark contrast to the way he was fucking me, teased my senses. I reached for my own cock, wanting to feel tightness there too. He smacked my hand away, those lust filled eyes daring me to try again.**

 

**_Nope, no touching. You'll come on my cock, or not at all._ **

 

**I was a willing submissive for him, grabbing for anything to hold onto as he slid completely out of me, just to quickly and harshly slam back home. As his hips stuttered in their pace, the rising heat and taut coil raged through me, my own come shot hot and wet on my stomach, my hole clenching his cock, stilling it. Screaming my name, head falling forward, he coated my walls, dropping his weight on top of me.**

 

**We were both spent, sweat falling from his face as he kissed me soft and slow. He softened inside me, only disconnecting our bodies then. Rolling off of me and to the side, he pulled me beside him. I could feel the slick sheen of sweat from our bodies, the racing of his heart, my slowly recovering breaths the only sound filling the air.**

 

**Had someone asked me seven years ago, when I first realized that I loved Leo, if I ever thought I would be here, like this, with him I would of said never. I could not see him admitting anything like having feelings for me. Had anyone asked me last month if I would ever see us here, like this, I say no. How things change, when the person of your nightmares and dreams, comes waltzing back in your life. How quickly resolve melts when their eyes meet yours once more.**

 

**I asked for nothing more than this, to have him with me, and now I was afraid that he would walk out that door, stepping out forever again, without a word. But, I let myself bask in the glorious afterglow of making love to him, even if it was only one sided love.**

 

**I turned to my side, lifting my head on hand, his eyes closed and strands of damp hair framed his face. Swiping an errant strand aside, I lowered my head, kissing his forehead, then the tip of his nose, coming to settle on his kiss-bruised lips. He parted his lips, darting his tongue out to lick my lips.**

 

**_That was... I can’t even describe it… You control freak, you had me so turned on._ **

 

**The smile on his face caused me to smile in return. I could look at his face forever, watch him as he comes in me. I didn’t dare say the word ‘love’, i didn’t want to spoil this moment. I would be happy with just having him here, in my bed, freshly fucked and ruined.**


	8. Chapter 8

**(Leo part)**

  
  


**I pulled away from Ravi’s body reluctantly, collapsing slowly next to him, focused only on breathing for a minute, until I no longer felt like I'd just run a marathon. Then I rolled toward him, throwing an arm over his waist and pulling him close to me. He seemed to fit naturally, as if he were made to fit at my side.**

 

**I could almost hear him thinking, and I was about to ask him what was going through his mind, but he raised up and brushed a strand of my hair off my damp forehead before dropping kisses on my forehead, the tip of my nose, and finally on my lips. I licked playfully at his lips, smiling slightly.**

 

**_That was... I can’t even describe it… You control freak, you had me so turned on._ **

 

**I grinned.**

 

**_Didn't hear you complaining though. Admit it, you love it._ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**_Never_ **

 

**I chuckled when he cocked an eyebrow at me.**

 

**_Yes, I loved every second of it. I am a slave for you, you know that._ **

 

**It was true, I would let him do almost anything to me. Wreck me, ruin me, all for his pleasure. I would open myself for him any time he wanted it.**

 

**Once we have settled from our highs, I got out of bed, heading to the bathroom. Taking a towel from the shelf, I ran it under hot water. Making my way back, I cleaned him up first, amused at the way he squirmed when I touched his sensitive cock. Cleaning myself off next, i threw the towel to the floor. All I wanted to do now, was curl up beside him, arms encircling his body, and sleep. I was scared to break the mood, not knowing if he wanted to stay the night with me or not.**

 

**_Baby steps, Ravi, baby steps._ **

 

**Instead of asking him, I laid back down next to him, settling on my stomach so I could see him clearly. He looked to be in thought, brows creased. It lasted for a brief moment before it was gone. Was it a look of regret, second guessing what had just happened between us? I kept silent, leaving us both to our own thoughts.  After several minutes passed, I gathered enough nerve to ask him.**

 

**_What are you thinking Leo? Can you tell me?_ **

 

**_(Leo part)_ **

 

**I missed the warmth of Ravi’s body when he got up to fetch a wet cloth to clean us both up. But I couldn't complain that it did feel good to be taken care of. I hissed, whining a little, when he ran the cloth gently over my spent cock. Three orgasms in one night wasn't my personal best, but it was the first time it had happened with something other than my hand.**

 

**And I was glad it was Ravi I had experienced this with.**

 

**He finished with the towel and dropped it on the floor, climbing back into the bed. I sighed, getting comfortable. There was no way I was going anywhere tonight, and I hoped he was OK with that. Then I frowned slightly. We'd probably need to make plans to get up early and go get Ravi’s car-time I would rather spend here, with him. His voice cut into my thoughts after a moment.**

 

**_What are you thinking Leo? Can you tell me?_ **

 

**_Ugh, yes. I was just thinking that we'll have to get up early and go get your car, and I don't want to. I don't want to waste that time. I'd rather spend it right here, with you._ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**So, he was planning on staying the night with me. My inner self did the happy dance, while I kept it cool on the outside.**

 

**Pushing him to roll over, I pulled the covers back, letting him get situated before covering us both up. I laid my head on my pillow, feeling him fidget beside me to get comfortable. I felt an arm wrap around my waist, pulling me across the sheets and siddling me to his chest. One arm was stretched out beneath our pillows, under my head, the other loosely draped over me. I felt Leo sigh in contentment, his breathing becoming shallow and steady as he drifted off to sleep. Nestling closer to him, I closed my eyes letting the fatigue wash over me. When I was confident that he was deep in sleep, I whispered over my shoulder.**

 

**_Good night, Leo. I love you._ **

 

**I fell quickly to sleep, feeling safe and secure in his arms. Tonight there were no nightmares of him leaving or dreams of him with me, it was just sleep.**

 

**(Leo part)**

  
  


**Ravi pulled the covers back and I slid gratefully under them, pulling him close as I drifted off to sleep, feeling more content than I had in a long time. For a moment, everything was right in the world.**

 

**I slept like a baby, content to also with Ravi’s warm body next to mine. When I awoke, the early morning sun was beginning to illuminate the room in soft pink. I lifted myself up slowly, so I could see Ravi’s face as he slept. He was so beautiful asleep, his face almost angelic. I felt that familiar flutter in my stomach and I couldn't help but drop a kiss on the side of his head, just above his ear. Breathing in the scent of his skin, I couldn't bring myself to choke back the words I had no business uttering.**

 

**_I love you, Ravi._ **

 

**My confession wasn't much more than a whisper of breath, but it was so true. No matter how much my mind insisted that I couldn't love someone after six years apart and one night of mind-blowing sex, my heart wouldn't hear it.**

 

**I was just torn on whether I would want Ravi to hear it. But, now that the words had been spoken, even if he hadn't been awake to hear them, I was content.**

 

**I laid back down, drowsing, happy to enjoy the time with him in my arms before the real world intruded.**

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**I felt the bed shift beneath me, my mind drifting back to last night. How things change in a heartbeat, how your life can flip in an instant. I didn’t want to wake up just yet, the comfort of his arms holding me a calming peace. When he kissed my head, my heart stopped, reeling in the tenderness of it.**

 

**_I love you, Ravi._ **

 

**I didn’t want to startle him, so I kept the facadé of being asleep. How I wanted to turn over, take his face in my hands and kiss him, but I decided against it. When he was ready to say it, when he knew I would hear it, I would show him how it made me feel to hear those words. But, for now, I would keep them in my heart.**

 

**Pretending to stir awake, I turned into his chest, my leg draping over his. I snuggled into the warmth of his body, inhaling the mixture of sex, sweat, and him. Raising my head up slightly, I nuzzled into his neck, finding the divot of skin just above his collarbone. I planted a soft kiss, tongue darting out to taste the salty skin.**

 

**Eventually, we would have to get out of our little world and face a new day. But until then, I was content to be here, with him.**

 

**When the time came to get up, I stretched and swung my leg over his body. Straddling his waist, I bent over to pepper his face and chest with hot kisses. He looked tantalizing under me, still half asleep and dreamy. Rocking my hips, I felt myself quickly getting hard. I had to stop my movements, knowing we had things to do, but damn I didn’t want to. He felt so good between my legs, his hips pressing into my inner thighs. I knew I was going to have to show him what it felt like to be wrecked and fucked into oblivion, but that was going to have to wait. Until then, I was his for the taking, willing to be used for his desires.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**Ravi cuddling into my side was nice, but when he licked my collarbone, I felt a slight stirring between my legs. When he swung his leg over me, and came to rest on top of me, I placed my hands lightly on his hips. When he began to rock, I didn't stop him, just felt the way his hips moved under my hands. I smirked when I noticed he was getting hard.**

 

**_Jesus, Ravi, you're an insatiable little slut, aren't you?_ **

 

**I smiled, to let him know I didn't mean it in a derogatory way. I wanted to let him finish, but I knew by the time he did, I would be hard again as well, and we'd move on to round two, and then we'd wind up spending all day in bed. So, reluctantly, I used my hands to stop his hips.**

 

**_Ravi, we can't spend all day in bed, no matter how much I want to. We still have to go get your car._ **

 

**He huffed a little, clearly pouting, but I slapped his ass gently, then firmly pulled him off me. Rolling out of bed, I stretched, taking a bit of satisfaction in showing off my body. Then I turned to him.**

 

**_I'm going to shower. Do you have any clothes I can borrow?_ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**When he stood and stretched, I was allowed a private view of his naked body.  He was lithe in build, toned arms and shoulders, his waist dipping into a perfect V at his hips. His thighs were lined with muscles, his back outlined too when he raised his arms above his head. I nearly attacked him then, wanting nothing more than to have him fuck me hard. His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.**

 

**_I'm going to shower. Do you have any clothes I can borrow?_ **

 

**_Wha-huh? Oh, yeah, I’ll grab you something from the closet._ **

 

**As he walked into the bathroom, I headed for my closet. Tucked away behind my clothes was a box, marked with his name. I had packed all his clothes that he always left at my house, not able to send them back. Rummaging through all the clothes, I found a pair of pants and one of his favorite pullovers. I laid them out along with a pair of boxer briefs and socks. I quietly made my way to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and splashed cool water on my face. It was so very tempting to step in the streaming water with him, but I restrained myself. I could hear him humming some tune while he washed up, a tune that I vaguely remembered. When he was done, I had a towel waiting in my outstretched hand. He was covered in droplets of water, some falling on his face from his hair. His bangs covered his eyes, making him look through the veil. I caught his glance, that smoky-eyed, devilish stare, and I lost all control.**

 

**Grabbing the towel that was loosely tucked at his waist, I pulled him towards me. The towel fell, leaving his still damp naked body on display. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I brought my lips forcefully to his. I didn’t wait for him to grant me an opening, instead i took his lower lip in my teeth and bit down. It wasn’t hard enough to draw blood, but just hard enough to elicit a whimper and moan from him. Delving my tongue between his partially parted lips, I tasted him, drinking in the way he responded to me. My hands were everywhere, clawing down his back, grabbing his firm ass, snaking around to take hold of his cock. I wrapped my fingers around it, beginning to stroke it with fervor. I pushed him back into the sink counter, parting his legs with my hip. Once I settled between them, I forced my hips forward, pressing my hand and his cock between us. I broke the kiss, latching my mouth to his shoulder. I was so worked up, my hips involuntarily rocking along his crotch, my hand still pumping him hard between us. A low growl rumbled in my chest, my head spinning from hungry need. Biting down on his flesh, I muffled a moan. I wanted to feel myself fill his tight little hole, have him clamp around me. I couldn’t get enough of him in this moment. I knew I had to stop, we had things we had to do, but right now all I wanted to do, was him.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I relaxed as I stepped under the warm spray of the shower, limber in a way I hadn't been in a long time. It was similar to, but not exactly like, when I'd used to dance with Ravi-that same loose-limbed soreness. It felt so good.**

 

**I hummed a tune that was vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Wetting my hair, I looked for Ravi’s shampoo. A small smile tugged at my lips when I found coconut scented shampoo and body wash. Ravi had always preferred that scent, and some of my fondest memories of him were scented with the smell of a tropical island.**

 

**As I was rinsing off, I heard the bathroom door open, and the sounds of Ravi doing part of his morning routine at the sink. I shut off the water and stepped from the shower, taking the towel he was holding, wiping at the water speckling my skin, and rubbing it over my hair, leaving it messy and hanging in wet strands in front of my eyes. I wrapped the towel around my waist, and glanced up at Ravi through my bangs. His eyes widened a fraction, and that was all the warning I had before his hand shot out and grabbed the towel, yanking me to him and pulling it loose in the same fluid motion. One hand curled firmly around my hip, and the other tangled in my hair, yanking my head back. I gasped as his lips crashed down on mine, his teeth biting on my lower lip, just enough to cause a burst of pain. I moaned, a high pitched sound, as his tongue delved into my mouth. His hands slid up my chest, then around my sides to my back, where his blunt nails dug into my skin, trailing down to my ass, which he cupped in two handfuls. Then one hand maneuvered back around, and he grabbed my cock. He stroked me, pushing me back against the cool sink counter, and I spread my legs to make room for him. He pressed fully against me, hand trapped on my cock between us, still stroking as he bit down on my shoulder.**

 

**_Jesus, Ravi, I need…_ **

 

**I whined, trying to get the words out. I knew now how he'd felt the night before, when I'd been completely in control of our first experience. But this time, I wanted him to use me. It was exciting, the thought of him dominating me, and I had to bite my lip hard to keep myself from coming at the thought of Ravi buried inside my body.**

 

**_Ravi, Ravi, please, I want you to-ah! Fuck me, please!_ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**_Ravi, Ravi, please, I want you to-ah! Fuck me, please!_ **

 

**That's all I had to hear fall from his lips. Turning on my heels, I took his hands and let him too my bedroom. He didn't resist, letting me their him  down on the bed. Pushing his body backwards, I grabbed him at the knees and drug him to the edge. Dropping in my knees, I used my elbows to spread his legs wide for me, his cock standing erect before my eyes. There wasn't an ounce of hesitation as I pressed my forearms along his inner thighs, keeping his legs open for me. Cupping his balls in my hand, I massaged them while I opened my mouth to take him in. I swallowed him whole, hollowing my cheeks to accommodate how large he was.  I sucked hard, grilling him with my mouth as I let him slide almost completely out before deep throating him again. I kept the pace fast and hard, his hips flexing and rising each time I took him fully in. He was a whimpering mess in my hands. I released him, placing his balls in my mouth, swirling my tongue around then, the breathy moan driving me insane with insatiable desire.**

 

**I could feel him getting close, but not yet ready for him to come. Halting my actions, I climbed over his body, adjusting is to low fully on the covers. Trailing good body beneath me, I took both hands, raising them above his head. I guess them to the metal headboard, helping him take home of the bars**

 

**_Don't you dare let go of these. I want your body spread wide and inviting. You can't move._ **

 

**Letting his hands go, I was pleased to see he listened to my warning. Kneeling above his chest, I placed my cock in his mouth, holding his head up for a better angle he took me in his well hot mouth, taking in as much as he could handle. I felt him almost gag, forcing myself not to go deeper. I fucked that mouth until I sensed my body trembling, alerting me that I was close. Pulling out with a pop off his lips, I took a few deep breaths. His pupils blown and eyes wide, I situated my legs inside his, using my knees to keep him in place. Leaning to my left, I grabbed the lube from the nightstand. Squeezing a generous amount on my fingers, I slow my hands down and costed his tight hole. Watching him the entire time, I said my finger in, seeing his head fall back and his mouth fall open.**

 

**_Just breathe love, concentrate on my voice._ **

 

**I spoke softly to him as I stretched him open. Reflexively, he sucked up off the bed. I placed my free hand flat on his pelvis, easing him back down.**

 

**Uttering soothing words, I began moving my finger at an agonizing pace, in and out, giving him time to adjust to the feeling. As his walls relaxed, I added one more finger, scissoring them to open him wider. I never took my eyes off his face, watching him squeeze his eyes shut as I pumped him slowly. His knuckles were white from holding the bars, muscles quivering from the strain.**

 

**When I had decided he was ready, i removed my fingers, lining the tip of my cock with his opening. Leaning down, I kissed his lips teasingly, then grabbed both of his legs, drawing them up to my sides. With a single thrust, I entered him, his walls gripping me hard. I had to still my body, willing myself not to come yet. He felt so tight and soft, every fiber of my being relishing in the sensation. When I regained self control, I pushed further, waiting each time for him to take me in. I wanted to slam him hard, but I knew he needed time to accommodate and adjust to my girth. When I felt his ass cheeks hit my thighs, i forced my body to move, rocking my hips up and in.**

 

**_Fuck, Leo! You feel so tight! If you knew how you looked beneath me, open and inviting. Spread open all for me. I want to fuck you so hard.  You like losing control for me?_ **

 

**He ground his ass down on me, rolling his hips for a deeper angle. Holding his legs up, I began pounding that tight ass, my head rolled back in ecstacy. I lost all sanity as I grabbed his cock in my hand, pumping him hard and fast, keeping pace with my forceful thrusts. I could hear the faint strain of metal being pulled as he used them for leverage. I came without warning, still pumping him in my hand. I felt warm liquid coat my fingers as he met his own release, nearly bucking me backwards. I fell forward, catching my body with my fisted hands. Sweat dripping from my brow to land on his bared chest.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I let Ravi lead me from the bathroom, back to the bed we'd so recently vacated. He pushed me down onto the plush mattress, then pulled my pliant hips apart, falling to his knees between them. Before I had time to register it, he had one hand cupping my balls, and his mouth was sliding down my cock. It was sinful, the things he could do with his lips and tongue, and I was racing toward my orgasm before I knew it. I grit my teeth, almost, almost--**

 

**Just before the fireworks exploded behind my tightly shut eyelids, he pulled away and I gasped. He stood and climbed over me, his weight settling comfortably above me. Grabbing my hands, he pressed them to the bars of the headboard.**

 

**_Don't you dare let go of these. I want your body spread wide and inviting. You can't move._ **

 

**I grabbed the bars, hanging on for dear life as he came up, and I obediently opened my mouth for his cock. I breathed deep through my nose as he thrusted his hips, taking his pleasure. I could tell he was close when he started to shake, and he pulled out of my mouth reluctantly. He then settled back between my thighs, popping the lube open and liberally coating several fingers before he lowered his hand to my opening. He pushed one finger in and my body seized. It felt different, but good in a way I'd never experienced before.**

 

**_Just breathe love, concentrate on my voice._ **

 

**I was trying, but I was experiencing so many things at once that Ravi’s voice seemed just another touch on my skin. But after a moment, I was able to focus on him. I thrust my hips up, then let him push me back down before he guided another finger into me alongside the first, scissoring them. The burn felt good, but then it was gone. I wanted to complain until his lips captured mine, and he lifted my legs until he could slide into me.**

  
  


**_Fuck, Leo! You feel so tight! If you knew how you looked beneath me, open and inviting. Spread open all for me. I want to fuck you so hard.  You like losing control for me?_ **

 

**What could I do but answer?**

 

**_Yes, yes, Ravi. God, you feel so good inside me, please, move, fuck me!_ **

 

**I pressed my hips down onto him, then rolled my pelvis. He took the hint, grabbing my legs and started sliding, into and out of me, stretching me so good. I bucked when his hand wrapped around my cock again, stroking it just right.**

 

**There was no warning as he came, just the sudden feeling of being filled with his come. Knowing that I had made him come undone this way pushed me over the edge and I coated his hand with my own release. I didn't realize I'd bucked so hard that I'd almost thrown him off the bed, until he fell almost on top of me, catching himself with his hands, face millimetres from my own, our eyes locked as we gasped for breath.**

 

**(Ravi part) )**

 

**Panting heavily, I rested my weight on my forearms. Leo was a sight to behold, glistening and spent under me.**

 

**God, Leo! I could do this all day long. What have you done to me?**

 

**He laughed, his body shaking mine, my still semi-hard cock being clamped tight while still inside him. Drawing a sharp breath through my teeth, I slid out of him, landing heavily on my side. We laid there, both of us looking at the ceiling as we fell back to earth.**

 

**_I don't know what came over me. Just seeing you all wet and… well, I couldn't help myself._ **

 

**Reaching for my hand, he brought it to his lips, kissing the back of my hand.  I sat up, dragging him off the bed and to the shower. We rinsed our bodies off, them resumed the task of getting ready to go.**

 

**When he saw the clothes I had laid out for him, which were not on the floor, a look of melancholy swept over his features. When he asked me where I got them, I sheepishly explained my story. He simply smiled, putting the old pullover on. It still fit him, just a tad more snug than before. He still looked good in it, the same as he did so long ago. We agreed that we needed energy after this morning, so I walked to the cafe while he brought the car around. Hands full of coffee cups and donuts, I met him out front. Reaching across the seat, he took the cups from my hands and propped the door open.**

 

**Settling in the passenger seat, we headed off to get my car. We rode in silence, the atmosphere relaxed. Pulling in to the lot, my car sat alone, the subtle metaphor of how I felt a few short hours ago.**

 

**_So, what are your plans for the day? I have a session with a rising idol group for the next five hours, then I was planning on fixing some dinner. Wanna join me?_ **

 

 **I didn't want to sound desperate or needy, I just want quite ready to let him go yet.** **I had already spent six years without him in my life, I had time to make up for.**

 

**Leo debated, finally telling me he had some things to do, but he would call me later. I exited the car, making my way over to my own car. Hitting the fob button, I opened the door, sitting down with a thud. Exhaustion had hit me hard, the events of last night and this morning left little time for sleep. I watched in the rearview mirror as he drove off. My heart sank a little, already missing his presence. Resting my head on the steering wheel, I closed my eyes, thinking about the past twelve hours. I had been through so many emotions, new experiences, and had been introduced to earth-shattering sex. I was overwhelmed, in a good way, and my brain was overstimulated.**

 

**Reluctantly starting the car, I put it in drive and took the short trip home. I sent Leo a message, telling him that I would be at Jellyfish Entertainment studios, and if he wanted to, he could come and watch the choreography session.**

 

**After getting ready, I headed back out, mentally preparing myself for the next several hours of intense dancing. I loved it honestly, the beat running through me, the various styles of dance I saw my clients learning, the escape from my surroundings. It literally moved me. Arriving early, I headed to the studio and turned the music on. Pulling up BTS’s ‘Fire’  up on my playlist, I turned the up the volume and got in place.**

 

**The world went away, the only thing existing was me and the dance floor. I repeated the intense footwork over and over, until the trainees came in. Today’s session was learning some ballad style dances. Seventh Sense was the song of the day. By the eighth run through, we were all worn out, our clothes soaked. Giving them a break, I wanted to show them what I was looking for. Exo’s ‘The Eve’ started playing, my body rolling and hips thrusting with the music. I spaced out once again, letting the music make love to my soul.**

 

**(Leo Part)**

  
  


**_God, Leo! I could do this all day long. What have you done to me?_ **

 

**I couldn't help but laugh, trying to stifle it when I saw Ravi wince, and realized that he was still seated inside me. He pulled out with a slight gasp.**

 

**After a moment to recover further, he grabbed my hand and pulled me from the bed and back to the shower, where we rinsed off. When we emerged from the bathroom a second time, I noticed the clothes laying at the foot of the bed. I'd forgotten all about that hoodie, and I asked in surprise where he'd gotten it. Shyly, he explained having kept the items I'd left at his house all those years ago. Nodding, a small smile curving my lips at the thought that he'd kept my things all this time, I slipped into the clothing. It was a bit more snug than I remembered, but it covered the important parts, which was all that mattered.**

 

**_Hey, while I go get the car, why don't you run down to the shop and grab us some donuts and coffee? I have a feeling we'll both need them after last night… And this morning._ **

 

**I loved the slight blush that stained his cheeks as he nodded, heading for the door and slipping his shoes on. Meanwhile I looked around, located my pants across the room, and fished my key out of the pocket. The pants I discarded on the floor. If nothing else it would give me an excuse to come back to Ravi’s apartment. Not that I needed an excuse, but still.**

 

**By the time I'd slipped on my own shoes and pulled my car around to the front of the apartment complex, Ravi was standing there waiting for me. I leaned over and popped the door open, holding my hands out and taking the cups from him as he slid into the seat.**

 

**The drive to the restaurant was quiet, but not awkward. When we arrived, I parked next to Ravi’s car. He broke the silence.**

 

**_So, what are your plans for the day? I have a session with a rising idol group for the next five hours, then I was planning on fixing some dinner. Wanna join me?_ **

 

**I really wanted to, of course I did, but with just over a week until I started my new job-the one I'd moved back for- there were a few things I needed to get squared away. I told Ravi as much, wondering if he felt as disappointed as I did. But, it couldn't be helped. I watched until he unlocked his car door and climbed into his own car, then drove away.**

 

**It didn't take long before the first text from Ravi came through. I smiled to myself-I had expected it. I held off on reading it until I got home-better safe than sorry, after all.**

 

**_I'll be at Jellyfish Entertainment, if you want to come watch the choreography session._ **

 

**Go watch Ravi dance? How could I turn that down? But I decided to surprise him, so I sent a text that said I'd try to make it, and if not, I would certainly call him later.**

 

**I spent the next few hours sorting through papers, sending emails, and reading over important items relevant to my new job. It wasn't strictly necessary, but it would help me jump in feet first from day one.**

 

**Finally, I decided I'd had enough, my brain on the verge of rebellion. I slipped out of the clothes I'd worn home from Ravi’s, and put on a dark pair of jeans, a deep red tee, and slipped my feet into a pair of old but comfortable tennis shoes. Then, heart skipping a beat at the prospect of seeing Ravi again, even though we'd only been apart a short time, had me rushing out the door.**

 

**When I got to Jellyfish, I couldn't help but be awed. To me this was a place almost out of myth-famous singers came here on probably a daily basis, people I'd only ever seen on TV.**

 

**But Ravi had free access not only to the building, but some of those same famous people. I was nervous as hell, entering the front door, but the guard just waved me in, gesturing toward the elevators and, after asking, told me that Ravi was up on the fifth floor. Thanking him, I jogged to the elevator bank, palms sweating knowing i was only minutes away from seeing Ravi again.**

 

**When the elevator opened, I realized that the long hallway divided two separate dance studio rooms, each with windows set into the walls of the hallway, allowing people to look in at those utilizing the rooms. The room on the right was dark, while the one on the left was lit, light flooding the hallway through the windows. Walking towards the door, I happened to glance through one of the windows and froze for a moment.**

 

**Ravi was dancing. His eyes were closed, as if he could see a video of the choreography on the back of his eyelids. The moves were sharp yet fluid, and the hip roll had my mouth falling open slightly. Ravi had always been a good dancer, quicker than me to pick up the moves to a particular song, practicing over and over, even when I'd given up. Dancing wasn't just a passion for him, it was a need, and years of giving himself over to it, body, heart and soul, had honed his skill from good to damn near perfect, and I was seeing it right now. Not even paying attention to anyone who might take notice when I walked in, I took the last few steps to the door and opened it slowly, careful not to make a sound that would disturb Ravi, as I stepped into the studio and held the knob until the door closed with an almost silent click.**

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**Where Leo was, no… Leo is my heaven, dancing is my haven. This is the only time that I can be me, sort out everything in my head.**

 

**Letting the music consume me, I put my years of training to use. Closing my eyes, I can see the music, the choreography, the passion of the words flow around me. This time however, I see him, Leo, filling my vision. The way our bodies for together, the way he laid his body out for me, vulnerable and exposed. When the music ended, I stood still, giving my limbs a shake. The trainees talked about how they wanted to learn to dance like that. Eyes still closed, I told them that they had to give themselves to the art, devote everything to it. Suddenly they fell quiet.**

 

**Turning to ask why, I opened my eyes to see Leo standing by the door, his lean frame leaning against the wall. His expression was that of awe and appreciation. He had seen me dance, we had even danced together back in our younger years. What I would give to have him dance with me again, to watch the way his body moved in synch with mine as we worked on a routine together. There were many times I would sit aside and watch him push his legs past their limits, sometimes collapsing from exhaustion. Those days I would imagine him with me. That was the first time I realised he was more than a friend to me.**

 

**I used dancing as an escape from my feelings for him, fighting an internal battle that my heart eventually won. Day in and day out, coming to the studio to forget him, throw my feelings aside, and beat myself up physically to have a pain other than what my heart felt.**

 

**Looking at him, I dismissed the kids, telling them to work on their set and I would see them tomorrow. When it was just me and him, alone, I approached him.**

 

**_Did you like what you saw? Still think you could out dance me?_ **

 

**By the way his gaze roamed over me, I could tell he liked what he saw, seeing as I was dripping with sweat, only my sweats covering my lower half. Snapping my fingers in front of him, he blinked then blushed, embarrassed they he was caught ogling me. I just smiled, pulled him away from the window, a dropped a kiss to his nose.**

 

**_Do you know how cute you are when you get embarrassed?_ **

 

**He pushed my shoulder, hard enough to make me stumble off balance. His sly smile told me he wasn't really mad, just telling me silently to be careful.**

 

**Wiping myself down with my towel, I grabbed my shirt and slipped it over my head, shaking my hair out into a messy disarray of spikes. I caught Leo in my peripheral vision, running house fingers over the mirrored wall, touching the stereo with fondness. One day I would get him back in a studio, if only to show him who could out dance who now.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I stood quietly until Ravi had dismissed his group, then crossed the room as they left. The closer I got to him, the less I could control my eyes-raking my gaze down his naked torso, glistening with sweat, and finally snagging on the waistband of his pants. He was sex personified. I didn't blink until he snapped his fingers in front of my face, and I started, then felt my face flush as I realized he'd known I'd been staring. He smiled and placed a peck on my nose.**

 

**_Do you know how cute you are when you get embarrassed?_ **

 

**I scoffed and pushed his shoulder, putting him a bit off balance, but smiled to let him know I wasn't mad.**

 

**_I do_ ** **not** **_get embarrassed. I'm an_ **

**_adult and far too confident to engage in such.. Teenage behaviour._ **

 

**I turned away in mock aggravation, grinning as I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. While I listened to the sound of him wiping himself down and pulling on his shirt, I stepped closer to the mirrored wall, a pang of longing tinged with regret stabbing me hard. I missed dancing, sometimes, missed the carefree days when it was the most important thing to both of us. But now, it was different. We were adults now, with adult responsibilities, and I'd left dancing behind when I'd left. Casting a wistful look at the stereo, I determined to put all thoughts of dancing out of my head.**

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**Once I had packed my things up, I waited for him to finish reminiscing on the past. I was starving, have not eaten since this morning.**

 

**_Did you get your stuff done? How about some dinner?_ **

 

**I wanted to spend more time with him, even if it was only for today. I knew he would be starting work soon, and our time together would be cut short, so I wanted to take full advantage of the time we had. I considered asking him to stay with me until he had to start, but i didn’t want to push things. Instead I would take what I could get, and enjoy every second with him. He told me that he was done for the night, so we could eat. I had planned on cooking tonight and spending some time just relaxing. He agreed to meet me at my place in half an hour, saying he needed to make a few stops first. We walked out together, me filling him in on the young guys I had been teaching. When we got to my car, we leaned on the side, not ready to leave just yet. I scanned the parking garage, making sure we were alone before pulling him in for a more passionate kiss. Breaking away quickly, I patted his backside and told him I would see him in a bit. He uttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned to walk away. I giggled like a school girl at his reactions to being kissed. This was new to both of us, and I could somewhat understand his hesitation for fear of being seen.**

 

**Climbing in, I headed home, thinking of what could happen. Maybe he would decided to stay over again, even if we didn’t do anything, I still wanted his company. What I felt for him was more that sex, I really did love him and I wanted to prove to him that I was in this for the long haul.**

 

**I rushed inside, nearly knocking the table down as I threw my bag down. I grabbed some steaks from the fridge, along with some vegetables I had been marinating. Taking a bottle of whiskey from the shelf, I poured myself a drink and began the task of fixing us dinner. Just as I was about to place the steaks on the grill on my deck, I heard a knock at my door. My heart skipped a few beats, excited to see him even if it had only been thirty minutes. Opening the door, I felt my jaw drop. He had changed clothes, now wearing a dark blue fitted shirt and skin tight jeans that accentuated his hips and the bulge at his crotch. He had styled his hair somewhat, sweeping his bangs to the side. Of course he had added his signature eyeliner, making his already gold-brown orbs darker. If I had been hungry enough, I would have devoured him in the doorway, he looked that full of sex appeal. Stepping aside, I let him enter, taking the bags he carried from his hands.**

 

**I offered him a drink, which he readily accepted, then he put on my spare apron and began helping me prepare the food. Both of us standing side by side fixing dinner made my heart swell. This was how I pictured us in my dreams, cooking and doing everyday things together, working in harmony as we easily stepped around the other.**

 

**_So, what’s in the bag?_ **

 

**I asked, reaching for it on the countertop. He said nothing as opened it. I nearly fell backwards when I saw his offering. Inside was a bottle of my favorite Japanese single malt whiskey, Yamazaki. The bottle said it had been aged for fifty years, which meant he spent a fortune on it. The other bottle was red wine, which I figured was to be paired with our meal. Turning to him, I saw his eyes smiling back at me. How did he remember that this had been my favorite drink to sneak a sip of when we used to get into our parents cabinets? Thanking him, I asked him to open the wine and let it air. Getting back to dinner, we finished plating the food, then sitting down to eat. We made small talk, him talking about getting ready to work, while I told him about my upcoming schedule. We were both going to be a bit busier, each of us avoiding the topic of spending less time together.**

 

**After dinner, and a full bottle of wine, he settled on the couch while i opened the Yamazaki. Pouring us each a snifter, I joined him, taking the space to his left. I handed him his glass, toasting him to renewed friendship, and more.**

 

**By the time we had emptied a third of the bottle, I could feel my skin flushed and my head became dizzy. I was suddenly brazen, not caring if I made a fool of myself or not. I wanted him to stay the night, hell the rest of his time off, with me.**

 

**_Stay with me. Just until you go back to work._ **

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**When he invited me for dinner, I couldn't accept fast enough. I knew that our time spent together like this was soon going to be cut, and I wanted to spend every moment possible with him. I agreed, but I told him that I would meet him back at his place in half an hour. I wanted to run home and change, as well as pick up a gift for him, a random idea that I had suddenly.**

 

**We walked to our cars together, talking about the young men he'd been teaching earlier. When we reached our parking spaces, he leaned against the side of my car as I unlocked my door. Looking at him questioningly, I saw him glance around, and when he saw no one in sight, he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me in for a kiss. It was short but thorough, and had blood rushing to certain areas of my anatomy. But before it could set my blood to boiling completely, he pulled away, grinning cheekily.**

 

**_Fucking cocktease._ **

 

**I muttered under my breath as he patted my ass, saying he'd see me soon.**

 

**I almost sped home, eager to end our separation as soon as soon as possible. I took a fast shower, not bothering to wash my hair a second time, then settled on wearing the one pair of skin tight jeans I owned, which I had to admit framed certain areas of my body really well. I paired it with a fitted, dark blue shirt, and my kitten heel boots. Satisfied with my clothes, I went to the bathroom where I lined my eyes with my smokey grey eyeliner, loving the way it made my eyes pop. Then I smoothed some gel onto my fingertips, brushing my fingers through my hair, until it lay just right. Then I was out the door, in search of my present for Ravi.**

 

**Amazingly, it had only taken me half an hour to arrive at Ravi’s apartment, gift bag in hand. I handled it gently, careful not to bump the door frame with the bag when he opened the door. He took the bag from my hand, placing it on the counter, before offering me a drink, which I accepted gratefully. My hands were shaking a bit as I slid into the task of helping Ravi finish dinner. It was amazing to me how well we still worked together, gliding around one another as if we were synchronized.**

 

**_So, what's in the bag?_ **

 

**I didn't answer, just watched as his hand withdrew the bottle. A look of shock crossed his face, and I tried not to smile. He'd pulled out his gift first, a bottle of Yamakazi, his favorite Japanese single malt whiskey. I'd remembered how it had been his favorite thing to drink, back when we'd been to young to do more than sneak sips from whatever our parents had kept in the house. His jaw almost dropped to the floor when he saw it was a fifty year old bottle. It had set me back quite a bit, but Ravi was worth every cent and then some. He reached into the bag and pulled out the second bottle, a nice red wine to go with dinner. Handing it to me, he asked if I**

**would open the bottle to breathe. After I did so, I placed it on the counter while we finished cooking, then sat down to his delicious cooking and the wine flowed.**

 

**We finished the bottle of wine over the course of an hour, along with dinner. When he offered to open the bottle of Yamakazi, I was just buzzed enough to accept, even though a small, rational part of my brain insisted i shouldn't. I rose from the table and made my way to the couch, where I sank down, legs wobbly. Ravi joined me a minute later, handing me a snifter from the two he carried in one hand, the bottle clutched in the other. We toasted to our friendship, Ravi’s dancing, my new job, until we'd drank a third of the bottle and had run out of things to toast. That was when Ravi turned to me, eyes shining, and asked me to stay with him, at least until I started my new job. I stared at him, my alcohol soaked brain trying to process the request. He wanted me to stay?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter!! But, sometimes life gets in the way. As an apology, I'm going to post up to chapter 11 today, which might actually be the last of the story...If not, updates will happen on Mondays from now until the fic is finished. Many thanks to those of you who are sticking around! We really appreciate it!! :D

**(Ravi part)**

 

**I was just drunk enough to think he hadn’t heard me, so I let it slide. Maybe that was a good thing, not sounding desperate and needy. We just sat there, drinking and talking, occasionally stealing a touch here and there. I really wanted to have some restraint when I came to him, but damn, he was looking hot as hell, we were both drunk, and I had waited long enough to have him. We had already experienced mind exploding, earth shattering sex. But, now that I had gotten all that pent up frustration and pain out of my system, I wanted it to be slow and gentle, exploring what turned him on, what touches made his body quiver, what he liked and didn’t like. I wanted to learn about and map his body, committing it to my memory. If i was ever given the chance, I would worship his body and show him what being loved truly felt like.**

 

 **Melancholy written all over my face, I noticed Leo studying me. Blood rushed in my ears, my mouth suddenly dry, as I watched him watching me. I took a long swig from my glass, trying to relieve the dryness, but it was still there. I was getting drunker by the minute and hornier too.** **_Relax, Ravi, just enjoy his company. Shut up brain, I could enjoy it in my bed._ **

 

**My internal dialogue went back and forth, ask him to stay, don’t ask him to stay. Pounce on him and let him fuck me until I couldn’t walk, on and on it went. I could see his lips moving, but I couldn’t hear the words. I just watched those plump lips open and close, the tip of his tongue peeking out from behind his teeth.**

 

**Then I flashed back to when he pulled my hair, the way it felt, slightly painful but oh-so-good at the same time. I trained my focus on him, trying to figure out what he was saying, then I opened my mouth, the only thing I’m wanting to say spilling out.**

 

**_Leo, shut up for just a second, please. I really want to ask you something._ **

 

**He clamped his mouth shut, giving me a mixed look of shock and surprise. I dropped my head, looking at my hands that were wringing together in my lap. He dipped low, trying to look me in the eyes.**

 

**_Stay with me. Stay until you have to work. Please._ **

 

**The words just above a whisper as I waited for his answer.**

 

**_Please._ **

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I couldn't make my brain work out what the words Ravi had spoken meant, but some small part of me knew they were important. I tried to focus, but before I could, Ravi shook his head, and I gave up trying to puzzle out what he'd been trying to say. The conversation meandered from one subject to another, punctuated with random touches, like we were trying to make sure the other was really there.**

 

**I didn't really notice when Ravi stopped talking, I just kept rambling on, until he spoke over the words I wasn't even sure made sense any more.**

 

**_Leo, shut up for just a second, please. I really want to ask you something._ **

 

**Surprised, I snapped my mouth shut. He looked surprised, as if he hadn't really planned to speak. He ducked his head, and I instinctively followed suit, trying to catch his eyes. He was wringing his hands in his lap, clearly nervous.**

 

**_Stay with me. Stay until you have to work. Please._ **

 

**_Please._ **

 

**Suddenly the meaning of his earlier words clicked. He wanted me to stay with him.**

 

**Stay with him. Oh, God, Ravi… I stood, swaying slightly, and reached down to pull him up to me. Cupping his cheeks in my hands, I waited until his eyes met mine.**

 

**_Yes. I'll stay with you, Ravi. For as long as you like._ **

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**Had he really said what I think he said? Did he really agree to stay with me? For as long as I want him to? Placing my hands over his, I leaned in, the scent of whiskey and and sandalwood invading my senses. I pressed my lips to his, kissing him ever so softly. I waited six years to hear him say those words, and now my once broken heart felt like it was whole again. I tasted salt on my lips, wet droplets littering our lips. Where those his or mine? I didn’t care, just as long as he was here with me. Wrapping both of my arms around his waist, I inched us closer together, until I was pressed up to him. Tilting my head slightly, I brushed my lips to his neck, nipping softly at his skin, then trailed up to search out his lips. I sighed, wanting to feel his tongue part my lips. He flicked his tongue out, and I obediently opened for him. His hands wound in my hair, tugging just a bit, as he swallowed my moans. He could make me hard just by kissing me, could make me crave his touch just by giving me that look. And I was doing both right now, craving him deep inside me and growing harder in my pants by the millisecond.**

 

**When my lungs screamed for air, I pulled back. His eyes were almost black, parted lips red and much fuller than before. When he pulled his lower lip between his teeth, biting back his own restraint, I physically shook, that minute action causing all my blood to rush to the lower half of my body. He brought out the kinks I never knew I had, and I was beginning to think he quite enjoyed finding them.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**Ravi laid his hands over mine and melded to me, pressing his lips softly to mine. The kiss tasted of salt-which of us was crying? I didn't know, didn't care. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling out of the kiss to nip at my neck. I let him, loving the tiny sharp bursts of pain, before he kissed me again. When he sighed, I opened my mouth slightly, tongue darting out to touch the seam of his lips, which parted at the touch. I reached up, running my fingers through the soft strands of his hair before pulling it lightly. I could feel him hardening, and it was so satisfying to find all the little things that turned him on.**

 

**When he pulled away, I had to bite my lip to center myself. His eyes were half closed, glinting like chips of obsidian. His lips were a light red and beginning to swell. He looked like he'd thoroughly enjoyed our kiss, and was ready for more. But I wanted to hear him ask for what he wanted. I had a thousand ways to ask, a million words that would frame the question. But I didn't expect what actually tripped over my tongue and fell from my lips.**

 

**_Tell oppa what you want, Ravi._ **

 

**The moment the word left my lips, I realized just how it sounded and froze in disbelief. What was he going to say? I couldn't breathe, waiting for him to say something, anything, cursing myself as the silence seemed to stretch into infinity.**

 

**(Ravi part)**

 

**Oppa? Did he just call himself Oppa? To someone else, that would of sounded ridiculous, but to me it was the sweetest words to fall from his lips. Oh, the things I wanted him to do to me!**

**Looking at him, then the couch, a smile grew across my face, very dirty and naughty thoughts rushing through my mind. I wanted him to throw me over the couch, the counter, anything, as long as I could have him inside of me. Sure, I took control yesterday, but there was something about letting him have the upper hand that made me crazy. The way he pulls my hair, that low growling voice when he is close, the way he fills me up, all those things can get me off by just thinking of them. I am definitely a sub for him and I love it.**

 

**But calling him Oppa means something different. Oppa means that he is mine, and I am his. I mean, I know oppa means brother too, but the way he said it, that goes beyond brother.**

 

**_Oppa, I want you to take me, fuck me any way you want. Make me beg for you._ **

 

**I wanted him to make me beg, make me want him over and over. I would do practically anything he wanted me to do, and I couldn’t wait to see what he had in mind for me.**

 

**I got the crazy idea to strip myself down for him, tease him with my body, seeing how much self control he had. I had stripped in the past, so I know how to seduce someone, but he was the only one that was ever going to be allowed to touch me.**

 

**I took my shirt off, acting like I was just feeling hot. I took my time, pulling it over my head in slow motion, raking my fingers through my messy hair.**

 

**His eyes went straight to my chest, trailing up and down my bared skin. He visibly shook his head, trying hard to maintain his composure, and I knew he was losing the battle.**

 

**After a few minutes of torture, which was actually torturing me too, I stood back up and stripped my pants off, leaving me in nothing but black boxer briefs. Taking my seat next to him on the couch, I placed my hands behind my head, leaning back into the cushions and stretching my legs out before me.**

 

**_Oppa. Aren't you hot in here?_ **

 

**_(Leo part)_ **

 

**_Oppa, I want you to take me, fuck me any way you want. Make me beg for you._ **

 

**Fuck. The words, falling filthy from Ravi’s plush lips had blood rushing south to my cock, and north as well, flushing my cheeks and leaving me dizzy. While I struggled to make my brain cells begin to function again, Ravi swayed slightly and pulled his shirt over his head, slowly, seductively, yet trying be nonchalant at the same time. When it occurred to me that he was stripping for me, my jaw dropped. I felt like I was on fire, watching him, stunned into immobility. I raked my eyes down his exposed upper half, then almost choked when he slid his pants off his narrow hips, settling back into the couch, spreading his legs and smirking at me.**

 

**_Oppa. Aren't you hot in here?_ **

 

**My mouth shut with a snap, and I practically flung myself at him, putting myself in between his legs and fisting my hands in his hair, pulling his head back and hovering over him until his eyes met mine.**

 

**_You're right, it is hot. But only because you're here. Such a good, bad boy for me, Ravi. You like teasing your oppa, huh? Well, you shouldn't play with fire, or you'll get burned._ **

 

**I pressed my lips to his in a smouldering kiss. When he opened his mouth to me, i dived in, licking into the warm wetness. My hands still pulled firmly at his hair, letting him know that I was very much in control. He whimpered and moaned into the kiss, until I pulled away, releasing his hair.**

 

**_Up, baby boy. Be good for your oppa. Take off those boxers and bend over for me. I want to see how badly you want me._ **

 

**I pulled away from him, rising to my feet and crossing my arms, waiting to see if he'd follow my orders.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**Holy shit! My head spun when he threw himself over me, fisting my hair and pulling it back. He leveled our eyes, making it so he had my full attention.**

 

**_You're right, it is hot. But only because you're here. Such a good, bad boy for me, Ravi. You like teasing your oppa, huh? Well, you shouldn't play with fire, or you'll get burned._ **

 

**God! That word falling from that mouth sent me  standing at attention in my boxers, begging to be released.**

 

**His kiss was demanding, informing my alcohol muddled brain they he was in control, and that was fine by me. Still having his hand fisted with my hair at the back of my head, he touched hard, my unashamed moans drowning in the warmth of his mouth.**

 

**He abruptly broke away, letting my hair go. I whined at the loss of contact. Blinking my eyes open, I started to say something when he beat me to it.**

 

**_Up, baby boy. Be good for your oppa. Take off those boxers and bend over for me. I want to see how badly you want me._ **

 

**I couldn't scramble to my feet fast enough, quickly following his command. There was nothing sweet and kind in the tone he had when he spoke to me.**

 

**Once I was naked before him, I shot him a quick smirk, then turned around to kneel on the couch, putting my elbows on the top of the headrests. I closed my eyes, not knowing what to expect and wildly thinking that I wanted to be surprised. Mere seconds passed before I felt the hot pain of his hand caressing one ass cheek, rubbing wide circles around it, the the sting hit he out of nowhere, his hand coming down swift and hard as he smacked it against my flesh. I could feel the burn from his handprint.**

 

**_Well, you shouldn't play with fire, or you'll get burned._ **

 

**Now I understood what he meant, and I loved it.**

 

**Again he rubbed his palm, soothing the now tender area, relieving some of the sting. Without warning it came again, this time on the other side. I couldn't help the yelp that escaped, making him chuckle behind me as he soothed the newly reddened area.**

**Caress, smack, soothe. This routine went on a few more times before I was trembling from the sweet mixture of pain and pleasure.**

**I had a feeling I was going to be sore tomorrow, and I couldn't wait.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**Ravi practically ripped his boxers off, scrambling to balance himself backward on his knees on the couch, facing away from me, giving me an unobstructed view of the curve of his spine from his shoulders to the swell of his ass. He turned his head, threw me a smirk over his shoulder. Cocky brat. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Coming up behind him, I smoothed one hand over his firm globes, mesmerized by the softness of his skin. Then I brought my hand up, bringing it down firmly into his skin, loving the way it quickly turned red. Then I soothed it with my touch, before doing it again, this time on the other side. Ravi yelped and I grinned. It wasn't the sound of someone in pain, and I loved how much it was turning him on. But I had other ideas as well.**

 

**After half a dozen blows, I decided to move on. I leaned up against him, thrusting my cock between his cheeks and nibbling on the back of his neck. I wasn't totally sure what I wanted to do next, my pickled brain simply insisting on sex, but I wanted to draw this out. Then I had a flash of inspiration. Working my way up to his ear, I whispered my idea in a rush of hot breath.**

 

**_Ravi, you're going to be very good for me, right? I know you are, and so you're going to sit here, and I'm only going to use two fingers to touch you. You're not allowed to move, or touch your cock. Understand, baby? I'm going to milk your prostate._ **

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**With his teasing threat, he stepped away, leaving the room. I waited, just as he left me, legs still shaking from the anticipation and his ass-slaps.**

 

**He nearly ran back, the lube in his hand. Coating two fingers generously, he spread my legs apart, opening me up for him. My head falls forward, resting on my forearms, as I felt him stretch me with his fingers. Twisting them around slowly, my muscles relaxed, giving him better access. When I felt the tips of this fingers come in contact with my prostate, I gripped the fabric of the couch, my knuckles turning white. He was massaging it slowly, his other fingers stroking the sensitive spot just below my balls.**

 

**I wanted to scream, the overstimulation causing my entire body to convulse, but I bit my lip, a metallic taste filling my mouth. I didn't care how hard I had bit down, could care less I drew my own blood.**

**He took his other hand, filling a fist with hair and pulling my head backwards. I was coming undone, the sweet torture he was giving me inside and the pleasure pain at my head. I could feel the familiar heat radiating from my gut outwards.**

 

**_Fu-fuck, Leo, I'm close! Ohh, sh-shi-shit!_ **

 

**He quickened his pace, the constant pressure on my prostate, the rapid strokes of my taint, and the forceful pressure at my hair sent me flying off the cliff of ecstacy. My cock pulsed and twitched, jumping with each stream of come shooting from the tip.**

**I could feel my tight walls clenching fast around his fingers, keeping them deep within me. He never relented on his pumping, riding my orgasm till the end.**

 

**I collapsed over the back of the couch, my skin flushed and hot, my breaths coming rapid and shallow.**

 

**(Leo)**

 

**I left him alone, forcing myself to walk rather than run to the bedroom for the lube. When I came back at a decidedly faster pace, tube in hand, Ravi hadn't moved, and I felt a swell of pride that he was so obedient. Returning to my spot behind him, I opened the lube and coated my hand in my haste. I dropped the tube to the floor, and slid two fingers into Ravi’s amazing body. He was just as hot and tight as I remembered, and my cock throbbed. But this moment was about him, not me.**

 

**Forcing myself to focus, I curled my fingers until I found the small bundle of nerves. Working it with the pads of my index and middle finger, I fanned my ring finger and pinkie down to rub the sensitive skin behind his balls. My other hand came up and grasped his hair, pulling it until he bowed. I wanted to say something, tell him how good he was, how beautiful he looked like this. But my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth, and all I could do was watch him come apart. It didn't take long before he was shaking, his orgasm threatening to tear him apart.**

 

**_Fu-fuck, Leo, I'm close! Ohh, sh-shi-shit!_ **

 

**I rubbed him harder, pressing just a fraction more on his prostate, and he came, hard. Thick ropes of come stained the couch, but I didn't let up until he was thoroughly spent, and collapsed. I withdrew my fingers slowly, aware that he was probably hyper-sensitive at this point, then gathered him into my arms as I sank onto the couch, avoiding his come while relishing the feel of his sweaty, sated form under my hands.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**I was almost numb, but I felt his arms gather me to him, both of us sinking back onto the couch. His body was cool against my skin, his breathing setting the pace for mine to follow.**

 

**Even though I was sated, I wanted him to feel the same way. I wanted him to tell me what he wanted me to give him. In order for me to give him my full focus, I first needed to recover my sanity. I let our bodies meld together, his arms steeling my frame to his. He smoothed damp hair off my brow, planting kisses to my temple. His clothing was scratchy against my sweaty heated skin causing me to fidget in order to get comfortable.**

 

**_Clothes. Itchy. Off._ **

 

**I was unable to speak coherently, but I hoped he understood what I was saying. When he took too long to respond, I took matters into my own hands. Maneuvering my body around, I settled between his thighs, still enclosed in his firm embrace. Reaching my hands to his waist, I searched for the hem of his shirt. Finding it, I gathered it in my shaky fingers and pulled upwards.**

 

**When he loosened his hold, I pushed his arms up as the shirt came up. He just looked at me, a quizzical expression on his face. God, that gorgeous face! Stopping what I was doing, I lifted my head to kiss him fully. Pushing my tongue past his lips, I licked his teeth, tasted his tongue on mine. I still had a hint of iron, from my bloody lip, blended with the alcohol. I couldn’t get close enough, deepen the kiss enough for my liking, so I began growling low in my chest as I resumed taking his shirt off while frantically kissing him. When he suddenly realized what I was trying to do, he shoved my hands aside, stripping himself of his shirt. My mouth flashed to his chest, licking his skin where I was placing open-mouthed kisses everywhere. Fingers fumbled with his pant’s waistband. His hands joined mine as we both worked to get his pants undone and over his slender hips. I returned to those kissable lips, my fingers running through his hair as I devoured his mouth hungrily.**

 

**_Leo Oppa, what can I do for you? I want to make you feel like this, too. I’m for your pleasure._ **

 

**I waited, impatiently, for his answer. I was willing to do anything for him, my lover.**

  


**(Leo part)**

 

**I was more or less content to hold Ravi, dropping kitten kisses on his temple, but he whined, trying to speak, but his murmurs were too soft for me to make out. But he was apparently not willing to be misunderstood, because he began to squirm until he worked his way up to a sitting position, still locked in my arms. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and began to tug on it. Unsure of exactly what he had in mind, I gave him a quizzical look. He let go of my shirt then, bringing his hands up to cup my cheeks as he kissed me. He deepened it, our tongues tangling together, but it wasn't enough for him, apparently, because his chest started to vibrate as he growled out his frustration. His fingers grabbed my shirt again, and as he yanked at the fabric, I realized what he wanted. I swatted his hands away and stripped the shirt over my head. He worked his lips down over my chest, nipping and sucking. As he moved lower, his hands began to fumble with the button of my jeans, I moved to help him unfasten them, lifting my hips so be could slip them down over my hips. The majority of my clothes divested, Ravi turned his attention back to kissing me before speaking.**

 

**_Leo Oppa, what can I do for you? I want to make you feel like this, too. I’m for your pleasure._ **

 

**I hummed low, enjoying his need to please me.**

 

**_I want you to suck me off, Ravi. Put those pretty lips to work. And I want you to watch me while you do. Know everything I do is because of you._ **

  


**(Ravi)**

 

**_I want you to suck me off, Ravi._ **

 

**_Want you to watch me while you do._ **

 

**_Know everything I do is because of you._ **

  


**I was more than willing to oblige, anything he wanted, I would give him. Slipping my still sweat soaked body down over his, I took his engorged cock in my grip. I was driven, not wanting to take it slow. I wasted no time, taking him all the way down my throat with a swift drop of my head. Drawing up quickly, my tongue flattened along the underside, swiping up the bulging vein from base to tip. Swirling around the head, I closed hungry lips around him hallowing my cheeks while I sucked hard. Reflexively, his back arched, bringing his hips off the couch. Tilting my head up, I watched him through my lashes and fringe of bangs. I could see him squeezing his eyes shut, his mouth falling open as he moaned loudly. His hand reached for my head, but I grasped his wrist, pinning it to his side. His head bent down, eyes fluttering open as he fixated them on mine. We never lost that gaze as I feasted on him, sucking, licking, and stroking like I hadn’t eaten in years. Using my free hand to cup both balls in my hand, I pressed my thumb to the flesh between his tight hole and his balls. I began pressing small quick circles with my thumb as I massaged and stroked him. I quickened my pace, making my lips firm around his wide girth, bobbing up and down, still looking at him. I saw his brows furrow, his face scrunched tight as he neared his own orgasm. I felt his legs tense, muscles quivering as he refrained from allowing his release. Determined to make him last as long as possible, I gripped him tight, causing him to draw air in sharply between gritted teeth. When I saw him exhale, I resumed my movements, starting slow and working back up to a maddening pace. He struggled to look down at me, trying to focus on me. I never let him leave my sight, getting lost in the pools of golden brown depths. Straining his wrist against my grip, his fingers encircled mine, while his eyes grew wide. Taking him in, jutting into the back of my throat, I tasted the salty-sweet ropes of his cum and swallowed hard. The pressure of my throat closing around his pulsing cock brought his free hand to my head, holding me down and in place. Breathing through my nose, I held him there, milking every last drop he offered. His hand relaxed, giving me permission to release him with a pop of my lips. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I crawled up his flushed frame, kissing him and letting him taste my mouth, sharing in the aphrodisiac that was him.**

  


**_Was I a good boy for you, love?_ **

 

**_(Leo part)_ **

**_  
  
_ **

**I loved watching Ravi put my words into action. There was nothing more beautiful than his body sliding down mine, completely focused on taking my cock into his mouth. And, Jesus, what a mouth! Hot, wet, and combined with the bobbing of his head and the stroke of his tongue, enough that it should have been illegal.**

****

**When he cupped my balls, I tossed my head back, revelling in the feeling. I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in the feeling, but I'd wanted to watch Ravi as he sucked me off. So I made myself lift my head up, and almost came when his eyes locked with mine. He never looked away, and I clenched my leg muscles, trying to keep my orgasm at bay for just a few moments longer, but I couldn't. Bucking my pelvis, I came down his throat, grabbing his head to hold him still as his throat fluttered around the head of my cock. When I was finished, he crawled back into my lap, kissing me. I could taste my come on his lips, and it was a heady thing. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, he smiled softly at me.**

****

**_Was I a good boy for you, love?_ **

****

**_Yes, Ravi, baby, the best. You're so beautiful with your lips around my cock. I l-_ **

****

**I clamped my lips at the last second, shocked that I'd almost let my guard down enough to say** **_those words_ ** **to Ravi, but it was far too soon for that.**

****

**_Yes, baby, you're such a good boy for your oppa._ **

****

**(Ravi)**

****

**I was growing tired, energy spent and limbs numb. Grabbing my shirt off the floor, I wiped any remaining fluids off of us. Settled on the floor between his feet, I took the bottle of whiskey and filled our glasses one last time. Handing him one, we sipped the cool liquid, letting it coat our parched mouths. Leo’s head was back on the headrest, his eyes fluttering closed. Taking his glass from his hand and setting both on the table I stood up.**

****

**_C’mon sleepyhead, let’s go to bed._ **

****

**I took both his wrists, pulling him to his feet. He grumbled something about being too tired to walk, but I just snaked an arm around his waist and guided him down the hall. Pulling the covers back, I sat him down and lifted his legs up and over. As he settled into the pillow, I drew the blanket back over him, leaning down to kiss his head. I went back to the living room, picking up our clothes, gathering all the dishes and putting them in the sink.**

****

**A grin was plastered on my face as I straightened the apartment up. Who would have thought that just a few short days ago, I would be starting a new chapter in the story of my life? I wondered if we would have eventually met, even if I'd told his dad ‘no’ to giving Leo my number.**

****

**My next thoughts sobered me.**

****

**Why is he with me now, after six years of avoiding me? Is he doing all of this because of his own guilt for running away from me? Why did he let me kiss him that night, and kiss me back?**

****

**He was so scared of my feelings back then. Scared enough to avoid any contact, wipe me completely from his life. I was afraid of the answers, but I had to know them, eventually.**

**Running my hands through my hair, I went back to washing the dishes. When everything was clean and straight, I sat down on the couch. It was getting late, but after my mental doubting, I couldn’t bring myself to go to bed just yet.**

****

**Grabbing my headphones, I plugged them into my phone and pulled up my playlist. Walking to the half of the apartment that was my private dance studio, I turned the volume all the way up and did what I always do when I can’t think.**

****

**Danced until I collapsed.**

****

**Feeling my limbs hit the floor, I closed my eyes, pressing the built up tears from my lids.**

****

**_Why can’t you love me back? Why won’t you?_ **

****


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, fights and confessions. Enjoy! :D

**_(Leo part)_ **

  
  


**I sat boneless and sleepy on the couch while Ravi took the opportunity to clean us up. He handed me a glass of whiskey, which I was almost too tired to drink. As my eyes got heavier, he grabbed my glass, setting it out of the way, then grasping my hands and pulling me to my feet.**

 

**_C’mon sleepyhead, let’s go to bed._ **

 

**I mumbled in agreement, following him blearily down the hall to the bedroom, where he helped me climb into bed. As he pulled the covers up over me, I drifted off.**

 

**I awoke minutes, maybe hours, later. There was no way to judge how long I'd been out, but I was concerned when I rolled over to find Ravi’s side of the bed cool and unrumpled.**

 

**Where was he?**

 

**Forcing myself up out of the bed, I padded down the hallway. It was half lit by the angling of light from the living room, and as I emerged into the room, I narrowed my eyes against the glare.**

 

**The room was spotless, evidence that Ravi had cleaned up, but there was no sign of him, until I glanced across to the dance area. Ravi lay there, on the floor, motionless.**

 

**My heart jumped into my throat, then plummeted to my feet. As if someone had thrown ice water on my head, I was suddenly coldly sober. I broke into a run without thinking.**

 

**_Ravi!_ **

 

**I wasn't even aware I'd cried out his name until I came to a skidding halt, dropping to my knees next to him, heedless of my state of undress. All that mattered was that Ravi was hurt, in pain, and I needed to do something to help. My brain scrambled in panic, and everything I'd ever learned about helping injured people vanished. I was about to start crying and hyperventilating until Ravi lifted his head and looked at me.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**I don’t know how long I had been on the floor, to weak to move. I heard him scream my name.**

 

**_Ravi!_ **

 

**But I couldn’t respond, I just laid there, exhausted after everything that happened tonight.**

**I heard him drop next to my head, his breathing fast, as his hands ran quickly over me. With all the energy I had, I lifted my head to look at him.**

 

**_Le-leo? What are you doing up?_ **

 

**He shook his head, eyes turning red as tears began forming. I let him lift me, this time helping me to bed. After he got me settled on my side of the bed, he climbed in to his. He rolled to his side, facing me, laying a hand on my cheek.**

 

**_What’s going on? Why were you on the floor?_ **

 

**He sounded worried, and it hurt me that I made him that way.**

 

**_Sorry to scare you. I had been dancing, and I think I was more tired than I thought._ **

 

**I don’t think he actually believed what I said, but he chose not to push the subject. My fuzzy brain was slow, but my mouth was still quick.**

 

**_What are we?_ **

 

**As soon as the question was spoken, I regretted asking it. Maybe he didn’t hear it and I would be safe. I had to be honest with myself, I don’t know if I wanted to hear his answer.**

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I was swamped with relief when Ravi lifted his head. I helped him to his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist. I helped him to the bedroom, and we climbed back into bed. We lay facing each other, my hand cupping his cheek.**

 

**_What were you doing on the floor?_ **

 

**I poured my concern into the question, and he bit his lip.**

 

**_Sorry to scare you. I had been dancing, and I think I was more tired than I thought._ **

 

**I wasn't totally convinced, but I let it go.**

 

**_What are we?_ **

 

**The question was soft but raw, and I took a moment to answer.**

 

**_What do you mean?_ **

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**_I just meant- nevermind- I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. I just wondered if you considered us friends again._ **

 

**I hoped my lie was convincing. I could always use being drunk or tired as an excuse in the morning. I didn’t want to lose him again after we just rekindled … whatever this is.**

 

**I opted for closing my eyes and feigning sleep, anything to get off the subject. I grabbed his hand, interlacing my fingers with his before drifting off. Nightmares filling my head once again.**

 

**(Leo)**

 

**If there was one thing I knew about Ravi, it was that the first thought about a certain topic out of his mouth was usually what he was most interested in. Everything that followed was usually just to deflect from it. I'd seen him do this millions of times when we were growing up, so it doesn't fool me.**

 

**_I just meant- nevermind- I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. I just wondered if you considered us friends again._ **

 

**So, he's worried about our relationship. I lay still, not speaking, letting him think that he's gotten away with deflecting his concern. When he grabbed my hand and finally drifted off, I lay awake, thinking about us. It annoyed me, just a little, his need to always label things. Were we friends? Yes. Boyfriends? Lovers? Roommates? I didn't know, and I hated that he needed to compartmentalise our relationship.**

 

**_Ah, Ravi, you idiot, why do you always do this?_ **

 

**(Ravi)**

**There’s two thing I can tell you about dreams…**

 

**One, is that they are your subconscious working itself out**

 

**_Leo, where are you going?_ **

 

**_Ravi, seriously, you need to relax, I’m just going out for a bit_ **

 

**_Oh, okay. Sorry it’s just old habit_ **

 

**_I know, but you really need to get over this! If anything, it’s what pushed me away before_ **

 

**_I said I was sorry, just go and have fun_ **

 

**_Ravi.._ **

 

**_I said go, so go_ **

 

**_Fine! Don’t expect me back any time soon!_ **

 

**_Then don’t come back, since I know you don’t want to!_ **

 

**Second thing is, that whoever pisses you off in the dream, you will be pissed at when you wake up.**

 

**One would think that I had learned these lessons, but I guess I didn’t, because when morning came, I was still livid at Leo.**

 

**I got up before he did, fixed a quick breakfast and headed out for my session with the trainees. I knew I would be gone all day, giving us both time apart. Giving him time away, knowing that we had been spending every waking and sleeping moment together since we had met for dinner. It also gave me a chance to think about my feelings. Was I just going off of my feelings from six years ago? I knew he was a different person now, but did I love that new person? Was he feeling guilty for the past, just trying to make up for the pain he caused? Would he run if I told him I loved him, knowing good and well that I did love him, changed or not.**

 

**Thankfully, the session was intense, the trainees willing to work hard on their newest choreo. I took them to lunch, and after we were finished with the second half of practice, we were all beat.**

  
  


**I had to go home eventually, but I wasn’t sure if he would be there or if he had left to go back to his place.**

 

**_Yes. I'll stay with you, Ravi. For as long as you like._ **

 

**I wondered if there was any truth to that.**

  
  


**(Leo)**

 

**When I woke up, I was surprised to find myself alone. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I called out to Ravi. The silence of the apartment seemed to swallow my words, and I instinctively knew that I was alone.**

 

**Where had he gone?**

 

**Rising from the bed, I made a quick walk-through of each room. And, as I had thought, Ravi was gone. Grabbing my phone, I typed him a text.**

 

**_Hey, where did you go? I'm assuming you'll be at the studio. I'm going to run by my place, pick up a few things, and I'll also stop and grab something for dinner. See you when you get home!_ **

 

**I locked the screen, tossing my phone on the bed and went in search of my clothes, making mental lists of what I needed to bring from my apartment for the time I would be spending here at Ravi’s, which was already starting to feel more like home than my own place.**

 

**I gathered up my phone, keys, and articles of dirty clothing and headed out.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**Once I packed everything up, I ventured a look at my phone, hoping against hope that he had either tried to call or text me.**

**The screen was blank, except for a missed call from my mother. Pressing the call back button, I waited for her to answer, taking the opportunity to sit down and relax. Mom answered, asking me how I was doing.**

 

**_Good mom, I’ve just been busy with classes. Sorry I didn’t call you yesterday. Yes I know, it’s our weekly chat day. Yes eomma, I won’t miss it again. Saranghae._ **

 

**Being wrapped up with Leo, I had forgotten to make my weekly call to mom, and let her know I was still alive and breathing. Hanging up, i put my phone in my pocket and headed out the door. The usually quick drive home seemed to take forever, my mind running over what I had dreamed about and why I was mad at Ravi. He hadn’t really left, he was there when I woke up. Cursing myself, I promised that I would try to be more understanding and not blame him for my dream.**

 

**When I pulled into the lot for the complex, I immediately noticed that Leo’s car was gone.**

 

**_Dammit_ ** **!** **_He really fucking left!_ **

 

**I banged the steering wheel with my fists. I knew it had been to good to be true, that once again he had walked out of my room and out of my life.**

 

**I slid out of the seat, slamming my door and locking it. I ran up the stairs, stumbling with the key to unlock the door. When I stepped inside I took survey. His clothes were gone, the bed still unmade. Checking to see if he showered, I noticed there were no dirty towels and the shower stall was bone dry.**

 

**I let my body slide down the wall, my head coming to lay on my knees. I really should learn to keep my insecurities to myself. I needed to learn to just take things as they are, and enjoy it, whatever it was and however long it lasted. I needed to give him time to process whatever he was going through, without adding more pressure to the situation. I needed to be less selfish. That was the bottom line, I was being selfish.**

 

**I rose back up, turning the shower on and stripping down. The hot water was burning my skin, but it helped me focus on something else. Stepping out and drying off, I went to my room to change, grabbing my phone from the nightstand.**

 

**Still nothing.**

 

**Closing the screen, i went to the kitchen, then decided I wasn’t hungry, so i ended up in my usual place, headphones in, eyes closed, and waiting for the music. The only problem was, I couldn’t make myself move. I was stock still, the music blaring in my ears, and I could not make make my limbs move.**

 

**_Fuck! Come on Ravi, pull yourself together. You can always dance no matter what, no move!_ **

 

**Legs still frozen, glued to the floor by some invisible force that was more powerful, more intense, than my need to dance. Looking into the mirrored wall, I stared myself down, cussed at my reflection, and ended up throwing my water bottle and cracking the mirror.**

 

**I remained standing, eyes closed, head back as I let out a scream that came from the pit of my gut, and burned my lungs.**

  
  


**(Leo)**

 

**My first stop was at my apartment, where I packed a suitcase of clothes, as well as essentials-toothbrush, body wash, loofa. After that, I checked and answered emails, finding one that asked I call my new boss via Skype for a meeting. After wrapping that up, I glanced at my phone, seeing it was almost five. That put me behind-I estimated that Ravi would be home no later than seven, which gave me just enough time to make a quick stop at the store and grab something for dinner. I'd settled on cooking spinach stuffed chicken, and roast some vegetables. I thought Ravi might enjoy the advancements I'd made in cooking. Six years ago, I would have burned down the house if I'd tried to boil water.**

 

**Just before six, I pulled up to Ravi’s apartment building and cursed when I saw his car already there.**

 

**_Damn. Oh well, I can still surprise him with my culinary skills._ **

 

**I grabbed the bags, hooking them on my arm, then pulling my suitcase from the trunk. It was a juggling act, but I managed. When I got to Ravi’s apartment door, I found it thankfully unlocked. I twisted the knob, fumbling my load through the door, calling out a greeting.**

 

**_Hey, Ravi, I'm home! I bought stuff for dinner, if that's OK-_ **

 

**I broke off mid-sentence as I spotted him standing on the bare expanse of floor he used for dancing. He was standing frozen, gazing sightlessly at the huge mirror. A water bottle lay nearby, shards of glass littering the floor. Terrified he’d hurt himself somehow, I threw my luggage on the floor and ran to him, heedless of the glass crunching underfoot. Grabbing his shoulders I spun him around, running my hands down his arms, eyes scanning him for blood.**

 

**_Ravi, oh my God, are you OK? What happened?_ **

 

**My voice was sharp with worry.**

  
  


**(Ravi)**

 

**I didn’t see anything, but I was abruptly grabbed and spun around, my eyes still unfocused.**

 

**_Ravi, oh my God, are you OK? What happened?_ **

 

**I just blinked, not hearing his words or even registering his face. I felt hands running over my arms, and a voice yelling at me.**

 

**When he grabbed my hands, it clicked in my brain, I knew those hands anywhere, the way they felt, the rough pads of his fingers, they way they held me.**

 

**Blinking some more, I trained my focus on him. Why was he here?**

 

**_Wha-why? Why are you here? You left. You didn’t…_ **

 

**My words trailed off as I replayed the day. No messages, no calls, nothing.**

 

**I just stared at him blankly, confused as to why he was here, standing in front of me, looking all concerned and worried.**

 

**_I asked why you were here, Leo! Why did you come back?_ **

 

**(Leo part)**

 

**I frowned.**

 

**_I did send you a text, Ravi. I woke up and you were gone, so I figured you'd gone to the studio early. I let you know I was running by my apartment and the store to pick up something to cook for dinner, and that I'd see you when you got home. But if we're talking about not getting in touch, why did you leave this morning and not let me know you were leaving? You didn't even leave a note!_ **

 

**I knew it wasn't fair, what I was saying, but his accusation stung, and I wasn't willing to take it lying down.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**_No you didn’t! You didn’t send me anything not a call, not a text, not a damn thing Leo! I left this morning because I thought that , just maybe, we both needed some time to think. I needed time to think.  And Seriously? You want to talk about communication? After six fucking years? Really. I was just about to get over your hold on my heart, and you finally decide you want to talk! I’m so damn sorry that I can’t just let things be like you can. So fucking sorry that I wanted to know where we stood._ **

 

**As soon as the flaming arrows were flung his way, I shut my mouth hard, chest heaving from screaming at him, all the anger from six years coming to the surface.**

 

**(Leo)**

  
  


**_For fucking real, Ravi? I have the goddamn text on my phone if you want proof. But you left because you thought we needed time to_ ** **think?!** **_About fucking what, Ravi? The fact that you've gotta put some sort of fucking label on what we have? Why can't you just be happy I'm here? I spent six years of my life regretting what I said, every goddamn second was like carrying a thorn in my heart.  I'm so fucking sorry I wanted to fix my mistake, so fucking sorry you couldn't get over me! And, now, I don't even know where we stand. I'm here because I want to be, because I want to be with you, but if you can't even trust me to go out and come back again, without worrying that I'm not coming back, well, shit, that's not my problem. I thought I was doing a good job proving to you that I was here to stay, but apparently I wasn't. So you tell me, Ravi, what the hell you want me to do!_ **

 

**I clenched my jaw, curling my hands into fists and breathed heavily through my nose. Had I not been doing my best, over and over the past few days, to prove I'd changed, that I was sorry and that there was nowhere else I wanted to be? It was a trust issue, and I knew without both of us working on it, it would never work. I felt my heart fracture, at the thought that Ravi might never fully trust me, that part of him would always be waiting for me to disappear again. And if that was true, then I'd be better off walking away now.**

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**Grabbing my phone, I pulled up my message list, shoving the screen in his face.**

**_Where’s the damn message, Leo? Where is it? And it’s not that i have to put a fucking label on whatever this is, I just wanted to know that you weren’t here out of guilt, that you actually want to be with me! You want to know why I left this morning? I had one of those damn nightmares, where you left, and when I woke up, I didn’t want to say anything that would make you really want to leave! If I said anything then, I would have blamed you for something you didn’t even do! I didn’t want to hurt you! I want to trust you! For god’s sake, I really do! But what else have I got to go on? You left me, every night while you were gone, whether you knew it or not! I don’t want to keep you trapped, I know you have a life outside of us, I just need to work on me! I’m the fucking idiot with the fucking abandonment issues, and I am trying to work on that! Fuck it, Leo! You have done nothing wrong! I’m sorry! God,I’m so fucking sorry that I even told you how I felt. I have missed you and It was all my fault!_ **

 

**I let the tears fall, along with my words. I had admitted that I had issues, I told him about my nightmares, about how I know I needed to work on me and give him the benefit of the doubt when we are apart. But even with all my truths, the one lie was that I regretted telling him how I felt so long ago.**

 

**(Leo)**

  
  


**_God, Ravi…_ **

 

**I buried my head in my hands as I listened to him vent everything. It hurt like physical blows, knowing that even after I'd hurt him, been the root cause of everything he was going through, he was still concerned about me and my feelings, even at the expense of his own health. And to know he blamed himself for what I'd done… I felt the crack in my heart widen. I'd thought what I'd done was firmly anchored in the past, and hadn't thought about how it was probably still affecting him. I realized that I'd probably unwittingly taken advantage of that fact, and the fact that he still cared for me, even if that hasn't been my intention.**

 

**But, if we were being totally honest, there was another reason, one I'd refused to let myself even contemplate up until now. But I couldn't run from the truth anymore.**

 

**_Fuck, Ravi, I'm so, so sorry for doing this to you. But I want to fix it, make it right, because, God, Ravi, I love you, I love you so much and I don't deserve you and I'm_ ** **sorry!**

  
  


**(Ravi)**

 

**My jaw dropped. I don’t know if what I heard was what he said, but I didn’t want to say anything. By the look on his face, I think it was just hitting him too. I didn’t know what to do, or say, to his confession. Yeah, I had yearned to his those three words for so long, that now, hearing him utter them out loud made me scared. I didn’t want him to regret saying it, telling me that I took it the wrong way. I had to trust him, trust that if he said it, then he meant it. I took a cautious step forward, giving him a chance to bolt if he needed to. When he remained, I moved again. Each step giving him an out, but each time he stayed.**

 

**I was finally standing face to face with him, his eyes wide with shock at his own confession. I soften my features, judging his expression. Lifting my hands, I cupped his face and ran my thumbs over his cheekbones. I have wanted to tell him those same three words for the past six years, and here I was finally getting the chance, a second chance, to tell him.**

 

**_Leo, I love you too._ **

 

**I drew him to me, barely touching my lips to his, just bathing my senses in the smell and feel of him. I was willing to do whatever it took to keep him by my side.**

 

**_I love you too, more than you’ll ever know._ **


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the last chapter... :( But, never fear, there are two sequels already written and just waiting to be posted!! A huge, huge thank you to everyone who stuck with us through this story, we hope you enjoyed it, and keep reading! :D

 

**(Leo)**

 

**I was just as shocked as Ravi was when I said I loved him. His jaw dropped and I couldn't move. He stepped towards me like I were a wild animal, about to flee, but I had no intention of going anywhere. He stood before me, raising his hands to hold my cheeks, thumbs running gently over my cheeks.**

 

**_Leo, I love you too._ **

 

**He drew me into a small kiss, and I loved the feeling of rightness, the love I felt for him crashing over me like waves.**

 

**_I love you too, more than you’ll ever know._ **

 

**I knew just how he felt, and I wrapped my arms around him, deepening the kiss a little, before pulling back just a bit. Smiling a little, I pressed my forehead to his.**

 

**_Does this mean dinner is still on?_ **

  
  


**(Ravi)**

 

**I didn’t want to let him go, but I knew he had planned something special, and we had just about ruined it.**

  
  


**_Does this mean dinner is still on?_ **

 

**Nodding our heads together, I looked up at him. He was a different person, someone I couldn’t wait to learn about. I knew it would be hard at times, but I was willing to take that risk. Willing to let him love me in his own special way. When we finally separated, I looked around my place. Glass shattered and littering the floor, grocery bags spilled over on the counter, and a suitcase. His suitcase. With his clothes and other essentials, waiting to find a home amongst my things.**

 

**_So, are we canceling your lease?_ **

 

**I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips, entertaining the idea of us moving in together. Actually I knew that would take time, but I just wanted to see his face when I said it. He is so fucking adorable when he is caught off guard.**

 

**I tried to help him fix dinner, but he just made me sit there and talk while he prepared everything. We talked a little while we ate, but otherwise we just enjoyed each others presence. I demanded that he let me help with dishes. His threat of bending me over his knee if I argued with him, lit a fire in my heart.**

 

**_Oppa, I love you. And I’m sorry for ever doubting you._ **

 

**(Leo)**

 

**We simply stood together, content in the moment, until Ravi pulled back slightly, and we both looked around at the mess we'd made. It was bad, but nothing we couldn't handle. When he spotted my suitcase, he joked,**

 

**_So, are we canceling your lease?_ **

 

**It took me off guard and he grinned. I shrugged, moving to steer him to a seat at the table, while I gathered up the ingredients for supper. Luckily, everything was still cool to the touch, so I decided it was safe to cook with. He tried to help, offering several times, but I insisted on doing it myself. We chatted as I sliced, chopped and diced. When dinner was ready, we focused more on eating than talking, content simply to be together. He tried to push his way into the washing up, but I insisted that he simply sit, unless he wanted to be bent over my knee and spanked. After finishing up the dishes, I grabbed the broom and carefully swept up the broken mirror glass unwilling to leave it for the night, and then deemed the job of cleaning up finished. I turned to him.**

 

**_So, what do you want to do now?_ **

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**I wiggled my brows at him, busting out in laughter when he scoffed at me.**

 

**Making my way to him, pressing him against the counter, I lowered my head to his neck, dropping a tender kiss below his ear.**

 

**_Can I make love to you tonight? Nothing hurried, just me showing you how much I love you?_ **

 

**I tilted his head to the side, letting my mouth settle on his secret tender spot, just below his collar. His knees buckled as I lightly sucked at the skin there, running the top of my tongue up his neck and tracing the outline of his full lips.**

 

**When he leaned into my body, I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him close to me. Leo's head fell back, granting me full access to his neck and jaw. Cradling his head in my hand, I pressed his hips against mine, letting him feel the growing bulge in my pants. All I wanted to do was to take it nice and slow, savor the feel of his skin beneath my fingers, drink in the taste of his lips as I kissed him. I had longed to lay him down and close my eyes, just letting my hands explore his body, tracing the outline of muscles, finding sensitive spots he never knew he had. I wanted to become drunk in my senses, taking every single part of his being into my heart. I wanted to let him know that, not only did I love him, but I was so much** **_in love_ ** **with him and he was all I have ever needed to exist.**

 

**Breaking the kiss by peppering his lips with quick pecks, I laced my fingers with his, gently pulling him beside me as I led us to our bedroom. I didn’t want to take my eyes off of him, the dreamy look of want, need, and desire in his eyes was intoxicating.  Slowly undressing him, holding in the urge to strip him of the articles in record speed, I held his gaze wanting to see the subtle changes in emotions. Once I had divested him of all clothing, I stepped back and swallowed hard. He was beautiful, amazingly beautiful, to behold. Those smokey cat-like eyes that could draw me in and drown me in their intensity, his face that lit up when he smiled. I traced the lines of smooth tendons and muscles that had carved into his skin like a statue, the dip of his waist that angled to his hips, perfectly. Legs that were strong and lean, but could weaken at a touch. Leo was fascinating, a living Statue of David and I was Michelangelo, running my hands over his cool skin, pleased with the final creation.**

 

**I tenderly laid him down on the soft blanket, then watched his pupils blow wide as I undressed myself. I had deprived myself of his touch long enough. Climbing over his body, I aided him in getting comfortable, then nestled my hips between his thighs. I hovered over him, dipping my head low to capture those red full lips in a passionate lust filled kiss. I drew my body up and over his, relishing in the heat radiating from his skin and flaming my own. I groaned as his hands began to caress me, light scratches over the taut muscles of my back. My arms began to shake as I held myself above him. His hips rocked, my cock grazing his. I had teased myself for far too long. I had to feel him, had to be deep inside that warm tight hole of his. I continued tasting his mouth as I reached under the pillow, find the tube of slick lube I had left there. Pulling away ever so slightly, I coated my cock, and disposed of the tube. Using one hand to line my tip with the fluttering hole that stretched welcomingly for me, I slid myself inside, taking time to derive pleasure from the soft velvet walls surrounding me. If I moved to fast, lost control, I would have exploded inside of him before I was ready. I lifted one of his legs, granting me a new angle to go deeper still. He bowed his back, angling his hips to settle onto me to the hilt. He brought his arms up along my ribs, splaying them across my lower back. He was the first to speak, begging me to move. I placed my forehead to his and slowly began the rhythmic thrusts that moved us together. Hips flexing, backs arching to gain better contact. We were lost in each others embrace. I wouldn’t last long, nerve-endings already hyper-aware of the friction his firm walls were treating my cock to. When his nails dug deep into my back, his throaty moans growing louder, I knew he was close. I took his cock in my hand, pumping him with long lazy strokes. As the rocking of my hips quickened, no longer having the patience to tease either of us, so did my hand. We came together, him coating my hand and his stomach, while I shot hot stream after stream to coat his insides. Breathless, I placed some of my weight on top of him, his fire hot skin dampened with our mixed sweat. Letting myself go soft in him, I drew out carefully, pulling him with me as I rolled over.**

 

**(Leo)**

 

**Ravi wriggled his eyebrows at me, insinuating exactly what I thought he'd suggest, so I made a soft noise in my throat, which set him giggling. He pressed against me, kissing my neck just below my ear.**

 

**_Can I make love to you tonight? Nothing hurried, just me showing you how much I love you?_ **

 

**I had no objection, so I nodded once. He tilted my head to access one sensitive spot on my neck, the feel of his teeth and tongue making me shiver as my knees went weak. I leaned into him as he trailed his mouth up to meet my lips. When he broke the kiss, I let my head fall back, hoping he'd take the hint. He brought one hand up to cradle my head, pressing his hips to mine, and I could feel him growing hard against me. Every movement was languid, and full of love. He kissed me again, before pecking kisses into my lips. Then, taking my hand, he led me towards the bedroom.**

 

**He undressed me slowly, clearly revelling as he revealed each inch of my skin. I'd never felt completely comfortable when naked, but something about the adoration in his gaze made me want to stand here for him forever, to feel beautiful because he deemed me so. His hands slid over my chest, down my arms and across my hip bones, as if he were mapping every inch like an uncharted land. When he laid me down, I swallowed thickly, watching him undress. He was beautiful, inside and out, and I was swamped with a feeling of amazement that he'd chosen to be mine. He finally climbed onto the bed, slotting himself between my legs. He kissed me, deep and full, and I had to touch him or die. My hands trailed up from his lower back to his shoulders, my nails scratching lightly at the soft skin. His hips rolled into mine as he reclaimed my mouth, and I felt the pillow shift slightly as he retrieved a bottle of lube. He pulled back slightly, taking just enough time to slick his cock, before placing himself at my entrance. He pushed gently into me and I gasped softly at the feeling of being not only filled, but connected to him in the most intimate act we could engage in. He maneuvered my leg up, sliding impossibly deeper into me, and I arched my back, coming to rest with all of him sheathed firmly inside me. My hands rose to his sides, my fingers splayed out over his ribs. He didn't move for a minute, until I begged.**

 

**_Ravi, you feel so good, baby, but please, move._ **

 

**My voice cracked on the last word, but it had him moving inside me, slowly, as if we had all the time in the world. I thrust down each time he slid back into me, and soon I felt my orgasm building, and I dug my nails into his back, moaning his name. He reached down and wrapped a hand around my cock, stroking lightly but firmly, and every nerve in my body lit up with pleasure. His body moved faster and it was only moments before we were both coming, my release spilling over his hand, and his filling me. He collapsed gently onto me, our chests rising and falling in sync as we recovered our breath. I felt him go soft, then pull out of me as he rolled to his side of the bed, his hands pulling me with him, so that we were still anchored together. I looked up at him, eyes half closed, face and chest flushed and glistening, and felt my heart swell.**

 

**_My God, Ravi, I love you so much._ **

 

**(Ravi)**

 

**To hear him say those words, I can't explain what it does to me. I smother my face in his hair, inhaling the aroma of our combined scents, reveling in the way it washed over my body.**

 

**My best friend, who had known me practically my entire life, who knew everything about me inside and out, was now my lover. The line that once separated them, had become blurred, no longer being able to distinguish one from the other.**

 

**The boy I had once knew had now grown into this man lying beside me, sexy, strong, and confident. How could I ever express my gratitude for him taking a chance on me, a chance on us?**

 

**_Leo, can I ask you a question? What changed for you?_ **

 

**Not expecting him to label us, but to discover for himself, how he had changed. We were both different from back then, even if my feelings hadn’t changed, his had. I was curious why he didn’t run this time. I wanted to start learning about him, who he was now, and let him learn about who I had become.**

 

**_(Leo)_ **

  
  


**Ravi buried his face in my hair, breathing deep, and I couldn't help but smile. He'd always been affectionate to me when we were kids, and even now it felt as natural as it had then, despite our six years of separation. But the man laying next to me was different for all he was the same. I knew a lot about him, but there was still so much I needed to learn.**

 

**_Leo, can I ask you a question? When did it change for you?_ **

 

**I hummed, thinking about it. I couldn't put my finger on a specific moment in time, and told him so.**

 

**_I don't know. I don't think it was just one second, but over time. I think, maybe, that I've always loved you. That I knew it, deep down, and wouldn't admit it to myself. Maybe-_ **

 

**I had to take a deep breath to steel myself.**

 

**_Maybe that's why I ran away. I could deal with loving you, even if I never admitted it to anyone, even myself, but when you told me you felt the same way, I couldn't lie to myself anymore. And it scared me, Ravi. I'm sorry for it now, and I wish I could take the last six years back, but I can't. Even so, I want to make it up to you, every day of the rest of my life._ **

 

**_(_ ** **Ravi)**

 

**To know that he loved me, even back when we were younger, shook me to my core. We may have lost six years, but we could start over new. I vowed then to forgive him for all the pain I felt, and to trust him in everything. I never thought that I could find this kind of peace and happiness, especially when it was with the one I felt it with in the beginning.**


End file.
